grown-ups

I used to believe that my mom had eyes everywhere, one time some kids beat me up on the courts and when I got home she knew.....It was just one little fight but she got scared and said I was moving with my aunty and uncle in bel air.....

I used to believe…

A young lady called Sue once told me that when she was a little girl, she believed that grown-ups couldn't run - for the obvious reason that she had never seen any of them running. One day, she gave cheek to her father, then ran away, supremely confident that he would never be able to run after her. That was the day she was disabused of that delusion.

I used to believe…

My daughters, who are 4 years old, believe that if they kiss a boy, or a boy kisses a girl, they get married! This is becuase they were at my wedding and of course my husband and I kissed and then we were married. I have tried to explain to them but they just don't understand.

I used to believe…

When I was younger before I could read, my mom would consult the "Mother's Book"- a dictionary in our house for any information concerning raising kids. It went something like this, "Mom, Can I stay up until 10pm?" "Well, I'll consult the Mother's Book. I'm sorry, it says right here that you can't stay up until 10pm on a school night." It wasn't until I was older and could read that I realized that it was a regular book.

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl my father worked the graveyard and swing shifts. I used to think he would either work on swings or at the graveyard. I can't remember if I thought anything when he worked "days."

I believed as a young child and then teenager that when one reached adulthood everyone did life correctly and never did any wrong doings. Needless to say I was so disappointed to find out grown ups were just as guilty of wrong doing as kids were!

I used to believe…

When I was little i would watch parades on the TV and think that the people playing the tuba in the marching band were born with that metal instrument attached to their bodies and that the only job they could get was to march in parades. I think the reason I believed this was because I couldn't see where their bodies ended and the tuba began so i assumed that it was attached to them.

I used to believe that french kiss was something coming from France, and that only the French did it

I used to believe my dad knew the answers to all questions and solutions to all problems. This gave me a very comforting feeling. At the same time, I was afraid to ask him for a solution when a problem occurred (e.g. should I use the stinging desinfectant on my skinned knee or just let the blood run and do nothing?)

I used to believe…

When I was little, my parents told me that my dad was "a full-blooded Danish man." My picture of this was that he was like a water baloon just filled with blood, and if he were to be pricked, he'd just explode.

I actually thought that when I grew up I could be a Genie.

I used to believe…

When I was little (around 4 or 5) I assumed that when you became an adult (which I reasoned to be around age 14), you automatically got a paycheck in the mail every few days. Work was just something adults did to fill the time. I wondered who sent the paychecks out, and guessed that it was probably the president and that's why he was so important. Then I wondered why he gave some people more money than other people and how he picked who got to be rich. I figured people who were nice to him and wrote him letters got more money, so I started writing letters to Ronald Reagan (who I also thought was Ronald McDonald, just without clown make-up) asking him to give my mom more money so we could have a helicopter and a pony. I used Scooby-Doo and Hello Kitty stickers as postage, so I'm fairly sure they never made it to the White House.

I used to believe the song "Over the River and Through the Woods" (to grandmother's house we go!) was about MY family going to visit MY grandmother, as she did indeed live over the river and through the woods. We always sang this song on our way to visit her and so I thought that my parents had made up this song for my brother and I. Imagine my extreme shock when one day I heard this song being sung on a television show!!!

I used to believe…

During the early nineties when when John Major was the Prime Minister, I used to see him on telly a lot. He was (and still is) a tall man with grey hair, wears sensible clothes, has a sensible haircut and wears glasses.

About that time, my father used to work away in France and Germany being away most of the week. My father is a tall man with grey hair, wears sensible clothes, has a sensible haircut and wears glasses.

I believed that they were one and the same man. I never felt it was necessary to mention this to my mother.

I now realise that one was a member of the conservative party and had an affair with Edwina Currie. The other was an alcoholic Scotsman.

I used to believe…

Red hair tends to skip a generation in my family. When I was little, my parents told me that my grandfather had red hair before I was born but he had gray hair at the time. Somehow I figured out that the whole reason that old people had gray hair was because they had to give away their color to their grand kids when they were born.

I returned from a visit to my grandparents when I was 7, and my family came to pick me up from the airport. My dad had shaved off his beard and mustache and cut his hair short, but nobody had told me. I thought my mom had a new boyfriend! It was about three hours before someone called him by name and I relaxed and believed it was really my dad after all.