grown-ups

I used to believe…

once my mom and i were going through her wedding photo album and my mom was telling about it when it suddenly it occured to me that i wasn't in any of the pictures and asked her why she didn't take any of mine ,so she told me that i wasn't there, i got real mad and drove her crazy asking why she didn't invite me. i thought she and my dad got married sometime when i was asleep

I used to think I was adopted and that my real parents were in some source of trouble so they put me in a trash can to keep me safe. Both of them were supposed to have been killed. so my real parents found me in the trash can.

I thought for about 10 years that my mom was only 33 yrs old, now past that age myself I tell my son the same !

I used to believe…

When I was about 6 or 7 my Dad worked and got to fire people a lot. When he came home one night and said he had fired someone, I thought, that's horrible how could Daddy be that mean? Until I was aroung 10 I thought that if you got fired, whoever fired you took you outside, lit a match, and set you on fire.

I used to believe…

When I was little I was afraid of my 6'3 uncle not only because of his height, but because I though his handlebar moustache would come off on me.....I was afraid of his wife, my Aunt, because I thought her freckles would come off on me, too.
And thanks to my mother, to this day I cannot sleep if a closet door is open, it doesn't have to be just the one in my bedroom, but any closet door in the house.

I used to think that being a bird watcher or a scoutmaster were professional paid occupations.
At one time I wanted to be a bird watcher or scoutmaster because they seemed to be easy jobs.

I used to believe…

My dad was in the reserves. One time when I was [10 I asked him what he did the two weeks a year when he went to summer camp. He told me that he painted jeeps. What he failed to mention was that was one thing he did a long time ago so until I was a teenager I believed that every year when he went to "summer camp" all he did was paint jeeps.

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought that adults at weddings automatically knew how to dance in unison like dancers in music videos. Really they were just dancing to The Electric Slide.

I used to believe…

When i was little i used to believe that when my mom or dad was "grounding me" they would actually bury me underneath the ground, So whenever my mom or dad would say dont make me ground you, id become good really fast.

I used to believe…

That getting married and being happy wasn't something you had to work at -- it was just another inescapable part of growing up, like losing your teeth or going to high school.

I used to believe that Sheri Lewis from the show Lambchop was my Auntie Rose. the look so much a like!

I used to believe…

When i was in kindergarden our teacher was teaching us our left and right hands. She did this while facing us, therefore her left was our right and she tried to explain that this was because she was facing me. I didn't understand so for a long time i thought that when you became an adult your right hand became your left and vice versa.I kept waiting for the day that my hands would switch.

i thought that every boy would marry his mother in future

I used to believe…

on the fouth of july my cousins shot of a roman candle. but they did it from a distance. all i could see was my cousin holding a stick that shot out colors, so i thought it was a special sparkler that shot out colors.

I used to think that if you held your breath when you were young you could save those few breaths you would have taken but didn't and then use them on your death bed and and add seconds, even days to your life. I had a plan to hold my breath every day for a few minutes so that by the time I was old I would have gained myself at least a month of extra living-time.

I used to believe…

My grandpa had retired and did some carpentry as a hobby. He typically used varnish instead of paint. So I thought that all varnished wooden objects were made by him.