grown-ups

I used to believe…

Being the fifth child and only girl in the family my brothers would tell me that my parents had ordered me from the Sears catalog and that they had overheard Mom and Dad talking about having me returned to Sears/ They always assured me that if I would help with their chores they would beg Mom and Dad not to return me!

I used to believe that my family had a party when I went to sleep. I would hate falling asleep thinking they are all out there having fun without me!!

I used to believe…

For the longest time I believed that you had to get Divorced the same way you got Married. All of your friends and relatives from your wedding would have to come to the Divorce and instead of wearing white everyone would have to wear black.

I used to believe…

My sister was born when I was 7. My parents asked me and my male cousin, who was a year younger than I was, to be my sister's godmother and godfather. I assumed and believed for years that this meant that when I grew up I'd have to marry my cousin (since obviously the godmother should be married to the godfather!).

I used to believe…

My dad always told me that if you fought with someone you were dating, that you would REALLY fight if you got married. So the first time my first boyfriend and I had a (very minor) disagreement, I broke up with him. Sorry Keith!

I used to believe…

When I was about 3 or 4 I used the word 'adult' for the first time. Shortly thereafter my dad called me into his room. He said I was in trouble. When I asked what I had done he replied "You know what you did". I was then sent to my room to think about what I had done. The only thing I could reason was that 'adult' was a bad word. I refused to say the word 'adult' until about the 4th grade when another kid said 'adult' in front of a teacher and the principal. When he didn't get in trouble I then did a few experiments. I said "Adult" around some kids who would laugh at bad words. They didn't laugh. I then said "adult" in the coah's hearing and he didn't respond. I have still to figure out why my dad got mad at me that day when I was 3 or 4.

Gruntie

I used to believe…

When I was in preschool, I believed that every adult grew up to be some sort of teacher. I used to criticize my own preschool teacher, saying things like, "When I'm a teacher, I'm going to do THIS differently..."

I used to believe…

From a tender young age, I sincerely believed that I would know the man I would marry, because when I fell in love, I wouldn't fantasize or dream about having sex with him or even about marrying him (which I did whenever I had a crush). Those dreams would only happen after we were together.

Amazingly and sweetly, it turned out to be true. :)

I used to believe…

Until I was about four years old, I believed that my older half-sister was actually my cousin. We shared the same father, but she lived with her mother several states away. All but one of my cousins at the time were older than me (none the same age), and we only saw them once every few months (or even years), the same frequency that we saw her. When she came for a visit that year, I said something about her being my cousin. My mother looks at me strange and goes, "No, sweetie, she's your sister." This confused me, because all of my little friends lived with their siblings in the same house, but my sister lived far away. My mother explained it to me, but I didn't become totally un-confused until it hit me later until the concept of divorce was explained further.

I used to believe…

When I was young, I used to think that tollbooth collectors actually kept the money. I used to tell people that I wanted to be a tollbooth collector when I grew up!

I used to believe…

when I was a little kid, I honestly and truly believed that dads couldn't run. I never saw my dad run, so I assumed that once you became a dad, (however you did that) your running ability flew out the window.

I used to think that when you got fired, you got shot. My friend Scott told me his father was fired, and I was quite sad for him. I got the shock of my life when I saw his father walking around perfectly healthy a few days later.

I used to believe…

When I was really young, I didn't realize that the kind of love that married couples had for each other was different than how people feel towards their parents or siblings, so I thought it would be perfectly fine and normal for closely-related family members to get married. When I was around four, I decided that my Barbie doll wanted to marry her dad, and when I told my mom, she told me that people couldn't do that. But I couldn't understand why.

I used to think that once you were past the age of 20, you lost the ability to run, fall down, or sit on the floor. I think this is because I never saw my parents run (come to think of it, I still haven't) and I guess I assumed the reason my mom kept telling me not to run off was because she wasn't able to keep up with me.

I used to believe…

When I was little and I asked my mom what year she was born in, she would consistently and earnestly answer 1961. My dad was born in 1950, and was forthcoming about it. For some reason, I mentally created two categories of grown-ups: "Young" (born 1950 or later) and "Old" (born anytime before 1950), and I was thrilled that both my parents were "young." Imagine my horror when my mom started telling me the real year she was born: 1948. I was probably 8 or 9 by then, and I refused to believe her for at least two more years until I was doing a family tree for school and I demanded she tell me the truth so I could get a good grade. Oddly enough, she's a high school teacher and most of her students refuse to believe she's in her 50s, so maybe it's not just me!

I used to think that all dads were older than moms. I think this was because both my grandpas were older than my grandmas and all my friends' dads were older than their moms. The thing is, my mom is two years older than my dad! I was relieved when I found this out, because I always got along better with boys at school who were younger than me.