grown-ups

I used to believe…

In my culture periods are a hush hush topic and I had no idea what it exactly was until I got one.Before that I believed that periods was when you started leaking poop or something like that and I made a plan to stop pooping so no one would know I'd gotten my period

I used to think that if you met your parents' boss, your parents would be fired!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

I used to believe…

As a child, I overheard my mom talking with someone about an acquaintance who got fired, and literally took it to mean that people who do a bad job get killed by being thrown into a fire. For a while I was terrified of what would happen if I wasn't good at my job when I grew up

I used to believe…

First off i was a weird little child but this one stands out to me... i was around 5 or 6 and my mom had a close friend who had cancer so she would wesr wigs. They all got a kick out of me singing and dancing for them. Well one night they had an award ceremony for me and i gave an acceptance speech. I thanked my mom and everyone and then i told the friend thank you for being a great prostitute. ....lmao i thought that word sounded very important and professional lol they laughed their asses off and i stared at them like wtf lol

I used to believe…

One time my mom was watching a baby that used cloth diapers and, being like 4, I swear she took off like 20 layers of clothing to access his mess!

I used to believe…

When my husband was a kid his mom worked as a bartender, and he thought that meant she was allowed to get drunk at work. How else was she to know how the drinks she made tasted?

I was once a young, Catholic schoolgirl who didn't think that nuns had to pee. I also didn't know that Christian monks existed- I thought they were all "Chinese Pagan." Thank goodness I never said that ot loud.

I used to believe…

My cousin and I had a long conversation about popularity and princesses when we were little. We were convinced that if we became really popular, people would elect us to be princesses and we'd live in huge mansions.

i used to believe that my parents were government spies that were in high tech disguises and reported to offices in other dimensions. i also used to believe that everyone i knew had access to a live feed of every single thing i did, including going to the bathroom and bathing, and judged me on my looks and behavior. AND one last thing. i grew up in a shomer shabbos (we kept the sabbath in the orthodox jewish tradition) house and was convinced that everyone i knew was involved in an elaborate hoax to make me think is was sunday when it was really saturday and therefore i was breaking the sabbath

I used to believe that my twin wasn't my twin and she's my neighbor's doughter, because my uncle say that it's impossible to have twin with different faces.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I started to wonder how my mom can dad can just get dressed and undressed in front of each other so nonchalantly even though they were opposite genders. I asked my older sister, and she told me that when people get married, they have to go into a room and stand naked in front of each other. This made me nervous to get married. I also figured that if two people got married and they had children, like in The Brady Bunch, that the children would have to do the same thing with their new step siblings.

I saw a lot of Geico commercials. I thought that "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance" meant that the longer you talked on the phone, the more money you would save. If you could keep them busy for 100 minutes, your insurance was free!

I used to think that growing up happened all at once and at random. Like one day I'd wake up and suddenly be seven feet tall and considered an adult.

I used to believe…

I used to believe that when a man and woman got married they would get a baby (I never knew about sex). My mom told me that when I asked �Where do babies come from�.

I used to think that it was a sin to have a crush on someone. I constantly judged my classmates, even reprimanding my sister when she told me she liked a boy in her class, all the time knowing I'd never fall to desire...until the first day of fifth grade when I distinctly thought "forget that" and deliberately chose a boy in my class, just to have a crush.

I used to believe…

When they ask me what i wanted to become when i was older.
I always replied: "A pet shop" Yep the store itself..
And when i was a little bit older they asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up i always replied "A vegetarian".

I guess i really loved animals.