grown-ups

I used to believe…

When I was young, I would frequently throw fits. My mom would always count to three when I did- when she got to three, if I was still throwing a fit, I'd get a spanking. Well, being the mischevious little thing that I was, every time she got to two, I would hollar at the top of my lungs "BUCKLE MY SHOE!" It was only for a little while that I beleived she was actually trying to say 'one, two, buckle my shoe.' After that, I did it just for kicks.

I used to believe…

When my lil brother was misbehaving and my mom told him to act like a human being. Then my brother started crying because he thought he was turning into a greenbean!

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 or 5, I was totally taken with my uncle Don. I just loved everything about him and he made my childhood magical. He had a girlfriend named Debbie and he told me that her real name was Princess Zebbie, he was Prince Zon and I was princess Zaige. (My name is Paige). He even had Debbie make me a papier-mache crown that was painted gold and had plastic jewels in it. She was wealthy and when we'd go to her house, which was very formal and "regal" appearing, I was convinced I was stepping into a castle. She even had a chair with a high back that I believed was her throne. We moved to Florida when I was 6 and I told all of my new friends about the princess I knew back in New York. No one believed me, but I knew it was true...for a couple of more years, then I realized the truth. But, oh, how magical it was to have my own princess, prince and to be a princess myself!

I used to believe…

My mother's mother has always been a very annoying person. She talks too loud, never leaves the house, and makes up stories to make her life sound like a big burden. On the other hand, both my grandfathers (dad's mom is dead)are really cool guys. So I always thought I'd grow up to be an old man because old women are like my grandma. I still kinna believe this. I know it's not true, but I still say stuff like "when I'm an old man" or whatever.

I once believed that when couples got married, they decided together on a last name that described them somehow, and passed it on to their children. The belief was logical for me. It so happened that my grandmother on my father's side, whose last name was Foote, had a deformed foot. On my mother's side, my great-grandmother who loved to cook did indeed have the last name of Cook... it just worked out that way in my family, and I thought it was that way in all families.

I used to believe…

Before I understood death, I believed that people would grow up and become really old, and then when they reached a certain age they would "grow down" until they became babies again, and then the cycle would start all over again. It never occurred to me to ask whether I had once been an old person already.

I used to believe that when people moved, they left their current house and 'hoped' to get the house they wanted.

One day when my aunt was going through the moving process, I proceeded to give her a 5 minute lecture on where the house key is in case she moved out but somebody else had gotten the apartment first.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I dont know exactly how old probaly about 5 or so I thought that you could only arry someone if you had the same colored hair as them. My dad and my brothers mother had the same color hair and they were married and my mom and my sisters dad had the same colored hair and they were married and my parents had different colored hair and they werent married so i cam to the conclusion somehow that you could only marry if you had the same colored hair. I remember having crushes on guys but i couldnt have them as my boyfriend because they didnt have blonde hair and i wanted to get married. I dont know how i cam up with that but i tiod my mom about it tonight and she laughed so hard.

I used to have a lot of respect for my local mailman...mostly because I believed there was only one for the entire world. He was almost magical - like Santa Clause - and he brought things to the house EVERY day.

I used to believe…

when i was a child i had a chuck e cheese toy... it had a fat stomach and really skinny arms and legs... i one day asked my grandmother, why does he look like that.. she told me because he ate rocks... well one day, years later, after i had met my mom's boyfriend (and now husband)my grandma asked what i thought of him... i told her "he looks like he eats rocks"...

I used to believe…

For the first four years of my life, my mom had long dark brown hair. One day, she came home with very short 80's style frosted hair and I started to cry because I thought my real mom had been replaced by this strange woman. Although other aspects of her seemed similar to my real mom, I thought perhaps this new mom could be a robot of some type. I still sometimes think that people seem like they've been "replaced" after getting a different hair cut.

I used to believe…

Our daughter Cathy, when she was about three years old, would see my husband go through the door to the garage in the morning, and come back in through the door when he got home from work in the evening. One day she asked me, "What does Daddy do in the garage all day?"

I used to believe…

My grandparents all divorced before I was born, so growing up I had four separate grandparents, never sets of grandparents. When I was older, I figured out the answer... marriage hadn't been invented yet back then. I knew that people made do before things like cars and televisions were invented, so it only made SENSE to me that my grandparents had kids before marriage had been invented! And why did OTHER kids have married grandparents? They'd all gotten married after it was invented... you know, they just sort of jumped on the bandwagon.

I used to believe…

My sister was born when I was almost 3 years old. As we both got older, I told her that aliens had given my mother an egg to hide under her shirt and that's where my sister came from...outerspace....My sister believed that for years lol

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I often heard my father refer to so-and-so "shacking up" with someone. In my mind (as I deduced from his tone of voice that this was a bad thing) that it meant that these people had done something bad and had to go live in one of those squatty little tar paper shacks that I'd see along the side of the road sometimes.

I used to believe…

When I was quite young, Dad would sometimes bring me with him to the office on Saturdays, when he was catching up on work. He told me not to break anything, or he would be fired. Of course, I believed that meant they'd set fire to him . . .