grown-ups

I used to believe…

When I was little my mother was prone to rather outlandish threats. She would tell me that if I didn't stop she'd break off my arm and beat me over the head with it. I still remember looking in the mirror with my arm crooked over my head to see how you did that. Well that and I would run look in the mirror, because she also said she could see a lie written all over my face.

I used to believe…

when i was little i had two very well thought out things that i wanted to be when i grew up..... in kindergarten i wanted to work at burger king so i could get free breakfast burritos... and then later on in life, i dumped that idead and wanted to be the ladies in the magic show who turned into panthers... the only thing that worried me was whether i'd be the front or the back.. lol

I used to ask my mom if I would grow up to be her mom, and then we would switch again so she was my mom again, and so forth and so on, and the cycle never ends...

I used to believe…

When I was younger my mom would take me to day care and always complain she would be late for work, and they would fire her. I used to believe that the 'firing' consisted of her being shot by her boss!

I was 4 and remember one day telling my parents that I had decided I wanted to be a boy when I grew up. My best buddies were boys and I didn't realize I was a girl or the concept of gender. I was very bummed when they said I couldn't be a boy when I grew up.

I used to think that when I went to bed, everyone in the house would wait for me to fall asleep, & have a party. For many years, I'd close my eyes to pretend to sleep hoping to catch them in the act, but I'd always fall asleep. In my pretend-sleep, I'd hear loud noises (from my parents watching TV) & feel really sad. Sometimes, I'd actually bolt out of my room intent on making a bust only to find the party hadn't started yet.

I used to believe…

My (older) sister used to tell me she had many different versions of her. (i.e. sister #593=shares, sister #24=bossy, sister, #871=says opposites, sister #6=sings,etc.) So she would constantly confuse me with her jeckyll-&-hyde transformations until I'd scream "I WANT SISTER #593, I WANT SISTER #593!!!"

I used to believe that you had to marry the person who had the same last name as you. I thought that would be how you knew who to marry. That's why the married couples I knew had the same last names!

I used to believe…

When I was younger I wanted to be a ghost when I grew up just like Casper.

I used to believe…

When I was younger my dad would go to work and my sister would go to school. I was convinced that they were hiding from me because they didn't want to play with me. I spent hours looking for them everywhere. I loved to check the clothes closet, probably because it was MY favorite hiding place.

I used to wonder why my mother made my bath so hot. My brother told me it was because she used to be a fire dancer and lost her sense of tempurature. I felt sad for her every time I bathed.

I used to hear the word "divorced" and i thought everyone was saying "de-horsed" and that in order for a married couple to split, they had to ride around on a horse and fall off and then they weren't married anymore.

I used to believe…

when i was little I was VERY VERY energetic and i wondered why my mom was never as energetic as i was.

My mom said that all of the energy in our life is put into a jar inside our bodies and as life went buy we take energy out little at a time and she told me that i should save up my energy until i get older.

I didn't move for 3 days

I used to believe…

When I was 5 or 6 years old, one of my favorite TV shows was the 1970's series 'Emergency'. A few times I saw the paramedic guys on there go to a call where a woman was 'in labor' and I always wondered why they took an ambulance for a woman going to work! I figured since they had uniforms like cops and there was a siren and flashing lights it was illegal for women to go to work.

i used think that when i would grow up that i could become a cat if i wanted to.

I used to believe that as soon as a couple was married they got a baby when they were done walking down the aisle. I also used to think they got to choose the gender of the kid too.