grown-ups

I used to believe…

Whenever someone talked about getting fired from a job, i would picture a fat man on a pig cooker thing and people twirling him over a fire.

I used to believe…

When I was a small child, my Nannan would keep me amused by telling me a mixture of world + family history, fairytales, + Bible stories. I knew she was speaking from memory when she told me about the Second World War + my Mother's childhood, so I assumed that everything else must be from her memory, too... I thought she must have met Henry VIII + Jesus + Oliver Cromwell in person, or at least watched them on the news...
I can't remember when I found out she wasn't immortal, but it must have been a bit of a dissapointment.

I used to believe…

Up until third grade I thought that if you worked somewhere, you had to work there 24/7 and if you quit without being fired you would go to jail for a week, and come back to that job after the week but instead of working there 24/7, you'd work there 23/7 (23 hours) and once you kept going to jail and finally only worked there for 1 minute every day, you were allowed to switch jobs.

I was a coo-koo child.

I used to think that if you were a boy when you were a kid, you would grow up to be a girl and if you were born a girl you would grow up to be a girl. So i thought my dad was once a girl and my mom was once a boy. a little weird dont you think?

I used to believe…

My cousin is about 4 years younger than me but when we were little we would always play at my grandmothers house. Sometimes I would boss her around and she would always yell back "Ugh I just cant WAIT till im older than you!"

I used to think that all teenagers were naturally cool. So I used to belive that when you turn into a teenager you would naturally turn cool and wear the coolest clothes and skate around.ect.
BOY I WAS PIG IGNORANT!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to believe…

When I was younger, my parents told me that I was adopted. I was told that my real parents lived in the basement of the McDonald's down the street because there were stairs that were on the side of the building that went to the basement. My biological parents also told me that my "real" parents were big green and ugly monsters. I actually used to believe this.

I used to believe if you didn't want to have a job, you could be an animal because my dad told me he wanted to be a zebra(he's a geoligist). So I wanted to be a cat and I would walk around like one and wear cat ears all the time. I even had a name-Princess Kitty Cat. Its the name in all my picture books.

I used to think that my dad was homer simpson because he had the same head shape and that we was bald like homer.
I told dad that he was homer simpson one night after the simpsons just finished.("doh"). he said he convinced me he wasn't.

I didn't really know where to put this but here was one of my beliefs-
When I was little, I liked animals so I wanted to be a vet when I grew up. My older brother and sister told me that vets were mean to animals, but strippers were very nice to animals. So at church one day, somebody asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Naturally, I said I wanted to be a stripper! (at least they didnt tell me that hookers were the ones that were nice to animals!!)

I used to believe…

When younger I thought a paid vacation
was your employer paying for where ever you chose spend your 2 weeks off. I couldn't understand why everyone wasn't going to some fabulous tropical island as long as someone else was paying for it!

I used to believe…

Like lots of other people, when I was little, I was told I could be whatever I wanted. At six years old, I was asked what I wanted to be. I said Wednesday Addams.
At least it was an improvement, at four, I wanted to be a pickle when I grew up.

I used to believe…

My parents used to joke around with my sisters and I, saying that my mother's full name was Merci beaucoup (means thanks you very much in french).. (moms name is marcy) So forever we thought that Merci beaucoup was her full name. My sister, only about 5 years old got lost in a target. When we found out she was missing we started looking around for her, only to hear the customer service intercom caller saying "will Merci beaucoup please come up to the service desk, your daughter is here!"

I used to believe…

My Parents got divoreced when I was 2 they never told me about marriage that both parents lived together I just always thought married couples lived across town and had boyfriends and grilfriend and eveyweekend dad got the kids well when i was almost 5 I went to my friends house both her parents were there I later asked my mom do people that get divorced have to live with eachother as punishment n married couples get live seperate from oneanother with there grilfriends and boyfriends needless to say I got told the truth it was kinda sad

I used to believe…

this isn't really about marriage, but whenever my family would talk about my brother dumping his girlfriends, i used to think that he'd put them in the hamper in the garage. lol weird huh?

I used to believe…

When I was young, we used to go and stay over night at my grandmothers house. She lives way out in the middle of no-where, and there are coyotes near their ranch. We'd drive up to their house at night and be unloading our bags and I would just jolt right into the house and cry because I was afraid the coyotes would get me. Grandpa told me that the coyotes were afraid to come in the house but if I kept crying, it would attract them.