grown-ups

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought that the my parents real names were in fact "mom" and "dad" I got really mad when other people called there parents that too because those were my parents names!

I used to believe…

when i was younger and someone said that the got fired from their job i thought that ment that their boss put them on a fire grill and burned them

I used to think that all parents were exactly the same as mine, they just belonged to different people. I also thought that all parents treated their kids just like mine treated me.

I used to believe…

For the longest time (Until a few weeks ago) I used to believe that a Paralegal was another name for a foster child or young ward (like from Batman) And sometimes they would use the word on TV and it would throw me way off track. Then a few weeks ago me and my friend went out for breakfast and in some conversation we were having she mentioned that her brother was going to be a paralegal. I was confused at first and I told her what I thought it was and she had a good laugh. I'm not even sure why I thought it meant that either. God I'm a moron. Im 18 too.

i used to believe that when a man and woman got married, they agreed to be married by eating bowl of holy macaroni and cheese together:

"dearly beloved, we are gathered together, to join together this man and this woman in holy macaroni"

I used to believe…

When me and my sister were reeeeaally young my dad had this black mustang and everyone in my family would call it the "Batmobile" Because we thought it resembled it. And my dad also had a job where he would have to leave at random times unlike our step mom who had a schedual job. So for the longest time me and my sister decided that my dad was secretly Batman and when he left for work he was really going out to beat up bad guys. I feel like a moron but everytime we watch that movie we crack up.

i used to think that if you were grounded that would mean your head would get burried in the ground until ya mum or dad or watever would let you out

I used to believe…

It never occurred to me when I was little that my parents would try to protect me or watch out for me. I thought they took me places without considering whether kids were allowed there, and I thought that if for some reason I got in trouble when out with my parents, the powers that be would punish me directly without appealing to my parents first.

I used to believe…

When my mom was little she thought that when you grew up you were either an indian or a cowboy. However she also thought when she grew up she would eventually turn into a boy (you can see how well that turned out for her, she is know a teacher)

I used to believe…

My brother, about age 3, insisted that when he grew up, he would become a fish. Me and my sister would say "No, you cant be a fish. You can be a Cop or Fireman, but you can't be a fish." and he said "Yes I can. I can be anything I want, so I'll be a fish, a blue fish and swim and blow bubbles all day." It took him about 3-4 years to realize he couldn't be a fish.

I used to believe…

My mother used to say, when I asked her where she had been, "Timbuktu". I honestly believed she went to some magical place called Timbuktu, and I would always get upset she didn't take me with her. Turns out she was just being sarcastic.

I used to believe…

This is actually my son's. I must preface it but saying that he and I have strange senses of humor and have always innocently goofed around with each other. There are 13 years between him and his only sibling (an older sister) and this occurred before there were so many weird horrid crimes against children. When he was about 8 or 9, he was going through an very inquisistive stage, continually questioning everything. He was driving me nuts. After a long day of questions, he asked my how come there were no siblings between him and his sister. I said, You had a brother but he's buried in the back yard for asking too many questions. After that, every now and then I would see him walking in the back yard just randomly looking around.

I used to believe…

My parents were married on May 25. Anyway, my parents still had a calendar from the year they were married, and I was paging through it when I saw the word "Wedding," but I didn't know whose wedding it was for. For a long time, I thought ALL marriages HAD to be on May 25, or the grown-ups couldn't get married for another year, and if they tried to get married at another time, they'd go to jail. (It didn't help that all of my relatives got married around this time.)

Anyway, we were going to another wedding in mid-winter, and I knew that it was not May 25, let alone May. When the bride and groom were about to recite their vows, I shouted, really horrified, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! IT'S NOT MAY 25! YOU'LL GO TO JAIL!!!" The congregation broke out in laughter, and I wondered why. My mom explained that people can get married at any time, and May 25 was the day she and Dad got married. Needless to say, people still tease me about it.

I used to believe…

This happened to my ex husband. After my grandmother, whom we called Nana, died, my ex husband told me that he believed her name was Nana, and was shocked to hear that it was Elsie Mae.

I thought that firetrucks brought the fire to places, because on the news, the trucks were only there when the building was on fire. No one understood why I freaked out when firetrucks showed up at my school for demonstrations.

I used to believe…

My mom is a nurse, and when I was little, I used to tell her I'd put her in a nursing home when she got older, because I thought nursing homes were where nurses went.