grown-ups

I used to believe that being a nun was a job. I thought you went in for your hours and came home to your husband and kids just like any other job. I wanted to be a nun to wear the habit and imagined coming home to cook dinner for my family

I used to believe…

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I used to believe that if I put my dad's toothbrush close to my mom's toothbrush, with the bristles touching - like a kiss - they would never fight and be together forever.

I used to believe that my mind would at some point kick into "auto-drive", and I would be just like everyone else. Every year it didn't happen I thought for sure the next year.

I used to think that whatever you wanted to do as a job when you got older, that is what you would do. You just had to choose. I didn't factor in doing well in school and all that stuff.

I used to think that I would get married for sure and have to kids, a boy and girl and it would be that easy for that to happen.

I used to think that I would do absolutely anything for my wife/girlfriend, even if she hurt my feelings and I would get her anything she wanted. When I think about this now it kind of sounds like I would be smothering her a little bit.

I used to believe…

When I was around 5 I got the kind of mines that blew up and the kind that people dug in for coal ect. Mixed up. I knew that the kind that exploded were pretty small so the idea thatc anyone could get in there was hard to picture so I figured miners were vrry tiny people.I was further confused when my dad said mining was a dangerous job because of the explosions which further reinforced my misconception.I remember imagining a line of little ant like miners filing into one of those round iron mines with the lumps on the outside through a tiny door while sad music played in my head.

I used to believe…

When I was very small I thought that when a couple got married they had to have sex in the church during the ceremony! My only knowlege of sex was from watching dogs mate so I thought the bride dropped to her hands and knees and the reason for the long train on the dress was to covet up the "action".whenever we were invited to a wedding I would cry hysterically out of embarressment so I never went to a wedding and found out I was wrong for years.

I used to believe…

when i was 4 i believed that all girls were left handed and all boys were right handed it made sense becoz my mum and my older sister and me where left handed and my dad and my older brother where right handed.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid. i believed that all religions were of the same god, 1 god. i also believed that death was something to rejoice, for it means we get to go to heaven. i also believed that i knew everything about life/ whilst having no opinion of anyone or anything. i also believed that children younger than me, could see ghosts, and at times, so could i. there comes point when each child must join the h,race. and forever be devoid of the consciousness we once had. when i was a child i believed the world revolved around myself, when i was a child i could see. NB- i have a photographic memory :). enjoy the life!!

I used to believe…

At 4-6 years old, whenever I heard a fire-truck siren in the distance, I would run outside with a plastic fire-hat and axe. I assumed that if the firemen saw me in uniform, they would pick me up in their truck so I could help them battle a blaze.

I used to believe…

My parents' birthdays are only two days apart. When I was a child, I thought that people had to be born in the same week in order to get married. When I was ten I met a girl named Theresa whose parents were 15 years apart and I thought (in secret) that their marriage must not be real. I thought the father was probably really Theresa's grandfather and that she was just stupid. I was pretty condescending to her after that.

I used to believe that parents were always taller than their kids. So when my grandma came over I never believed that she was my mom's mom because my grandma was the smaller one.

I used to believe that a preacher at a wedding ceremony would ask the groom, "Do you take this woman to be your awful wife?", instead of "lawful" wife. I could never understand why anyone would want to marry an "awful" wife.

I thought that when you bought something you gave the person money and they gave you some money back. Always. No concept of making change. Or checks and credit cards for that matter.

I used to believe…

Once when I was around four or five, an older relative of mine told me I was so cute that he could "just fold me up in his pocket and keep me there". I'm still not sure what that means, but it terrified me as a kid because a pocket would be a terrible place to live!