grown-ups

i thought that men had to go fishing or we would starve

I used to believe that when a man and woman got married, the woman not only changed her last name but her FIRST name also. So I always used to ask my mom what her name used to be. She'd say her maiden name..then I'd say "no, no, your First name! What did it used to be?"

I used to hear my dad talk about people getting fired, and I had this mental image of the poor guy running from his place of employment, hands in air, screaming, with fire coming out the door behind him.

I used to believe…

When I was about five, I heard my mother call my paternal grandmother "Mom." From this, I naturally assumed that Nana had been Mom's mother when Mom was a little girl, and that, conversely, my dad had been raised by my maternal grandparents. I thought that couples swapped parents when they were married.

I believed that since my grandparents retired and built a house in Florida, they were very rich. In fact, they even had their initials engraved on the water faucet handles..."H"(Herb) and "C"(Clara).

I used to believe…

When I was about five, and didn't understand the whole how and where babies came from, I used to think as we (children) aged our parents would do the opposite and become younger. And once we reached adulthood, we would become the parents and our parents were our children. Death and giving birth did not exist in my mind.

I used to think that when you were a child that you had a "calf" muscle, and when you grew up that it became a "cow" muscle. Then you were on your way to turning into a cow.

I used to believe…

Once while in the car with my parents we passed a car with the woman passenger sitting real close to the male driver. My dad said that meant they were on thier honey-moon. For years (and I mean YEARS) afterward I always believed that if a man and woman were sitting right next to each other in the car that they WERE on thier honey-moon. Like it was a honey-moon rule to sit like that. It was only until very lately that I realized my father was actually being sarcastic.

I use to believe that everyone had a long lost twin on the other side of the world.

I used to believe that little boys grew up to be girls and little girls grew up to be boys.

I used to believe…

When I was little, one of my older cousins was in the military. He seemed to be going all around the world. I thought that all military personnel were allowed free flights anywhere they wanted once they finished their basic training, which consisted of being yelled at for not scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush.

I thought that when you grew up, you could look completely different. I have light brown hair and hazel eyes and Im really tall. I imagined myself as a grownup with dark brown hair and blue eyes and really short.

I used to believe…

when I was little i used to believe that I had an identical twin somewhere out there that was doing the exact same thing at the exact same time.
I also wondered what it would be like if we ever crossed paths.

I remember when I was, well, younger than 5 years old (don't remember exactly), my mom left all day to "work at the polls." I thought she meant "poles", and I pictured her walking through a large room full of pipes checking for leaks.

I had grown too old to use my teats, and my mother told me that we had to give them away to Father Christmas's children. So I gave them gladly away, and belived that Father Christmas's children had got them, until some years later, when my mother should get something on the top of a cabinet, and the teats fell down on the floor..

I used to believe…

When I was little I always used to pass by this store that said Welding supplies--I miss read it as Wedding supplies--For many years I was horrified and the thought of getting married and having a wedding fearing that I would have to buy saws, blowtorches and other heavy machinery just to get married.