grown-ups

I used to believe…

When my sister was about four, she saw a small elderly lady about the same height as herself. She thought that after a while, old people would continue to shrink and then change into little kids. So, she asked my mom when my great-grandmother would become her age!

I used to believe…

When I was 4 my grandma made a comment about being tired and old. I asked her how old she was. She then asked me how old I thought she was. I said, "80" (she was in her early 50's). If you weren't a child then you must be 80!

I used to want to be a garbage man because I used to believe that garbage men went around collecting trash and, at the end of the day, used their magic wand and turned all the trash into gold, and they lived happily ever after.

I was brought to tears more than once when my older brother would tell me that he and my mom found me under a rock at the beach and felt sorry for me and took me home. Nice, huh?

I used to believe that any grown woman received the title of 'mom.' I didn't understand why my parents continued to shoot down my dreams of becoming, as I put it, "a mom with no kids."

I used to believe…

My mother is an artist and one day she told me she was going to paint me after school. I was very excited until she showed me her canvas and I realised she had not meant to actually paint my face!! I was only 5 ....ok!

I am an only child. I grew up convinced that once a child was born it was against the law for the daddy to stay. If the mommy got pregnat with another child, the daddy was forced to come back and live with her. I didn't ever think about how she got pregnant with the second child.

I used to believe…

"You can be anything you want to be" Well, when I was about 2 or 3 I literally wanted to be a trashtruck. Not the trashperson, the truck. Every Thursday I would run to the window just to watch the trashtruck do its thing. heh

I used to believe…

When I was four years old, my mother told me my brother Guy was fired from his job bagging groceries. I was horrified. I pictured a man throwing a flaming towel onto my brother, while Guy frantically tried to beat the flames out.

I used to believe that all of your aunts were your mother's sisters and all of your uncles's were your father's brothers. This was because my mom had 3 sisters & no brothers, and my dad had 2 brothers and no sisters. I remember being very confused at 5 years old when I was told that the man my Aunt Nancy was marrying would be my Uncle Shane. I couldn't figure out how he could become my father's brother.

I used to believe that one day I would just wake up a teenager. I would have physically grown up and matured over night. The thing that worried me the most was, what would I wear when this happened until I could go shopping for bigger clothes?

I used to believe…

When I was like 5 my parents told me that they picked me up off the side of the road. They also told my sister that they found her in a dumpster. when my cousin asked how he was born my mom told him that his mom found him at a pound he's 6 he was 4 when he asked and he doesnt beleavee it any more

I used to believe…

Both of my parents fathers died long before I was born. I grew up thinking that grandfathers were these really cool old men who went on adventures. For some reason, I would tell stories to my family of "When I was a grandfather".

I guess I was just trying to fit in... all my friends had grandfathers.

I used to be terrified of my great grandmother and wouldn't let her go anywhere near me! I was totally convinced that rather than just having wrinkley flappy skin around her neck as many old women do, she actually had a hole in her neck!

I used to believe…

My mom and my (much older than I) sister were asking all the kids in the car one day what they wanted to be when they grew up. I sat right up and said "well, I'm going to be a Hooker when I grow up!" I thought Hookers modeled clothing on street corners. I guess I was about 10 at the time.

I used to believe…

When I was little a lot of the african-american people I knew would always say they were cousins. So I used to believe that ALL african americans were realted to each other.

I used to believe…

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher told me she had eyes in the back of her head (so we wouldn't do anything bad while her back was turned). She "proved" this by putting a pair of glasses on the back of her head for a few minutes. I thought I couldn't see out of the back of my head because I needed glasses (I had them in the front). I felt like such a dork when I asked my doctor for another pair of glasses, for the eyes in back of my head!

I used to believe…

My mom married 3 of her bosses over the years and so my sister and I thought that every time you got a new job you got a new daddy. So when she changed jobs we used to cry, "No, we don't want a new daddy!"