grown-ups

I used to believe, given the chance, that any member of my family except my oldest sister might poison my dinner, so I used to go into the kitchen and watch as it was being served onto the plates to make sure there was no opurtunity for anyone to poison me. Sometimes even adding to my mother "you better not have poisoned this. I'm on to you"

I used to believe…

We have this hole in our backyard that's about three feet wide, and I always wondered how it got there. My older sister, who always filled my head with lies, told me that it was where my brother's spaceship landed, and dropped him off for our parents to take care of.

I used to believe…

when i was little my dad used to go play tennis with his friend every once in a while. while he was gone and there was a tennis match on tv i would make my mom leave it on incase my dad would be on tv. and people always asked me what my "daddy did". to my parent's embarressment i told them that he played tennis.

I used to believe…

One time, when I was a little girl (about four), my older sister asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I firmly answered, "A man."

She became very upset and argued with me about it, but I was immovably determined. She even ran and told our mother about it. Mom wasn't too concerned. (I am still female, so it appears that mom was right.)

I used to believe that you graduate high school at age 20.

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl, growing up with fourteen brothers and sisters, our dad would tell stories at the Sunday dinner table. He opened each story by saying, "When I was a little girl . . ." For many years, I worried that that meant that I would grow up to be a man. This was complicated by his constant exhortations to eat our vegetables, "It'll grow hair on your chest!"

I used to believe…

Until I was about 10 or so, I thought a mother and a woman were the same thing, and i thought you automatically bacame both a mother and a woman on your 21st birthday.

I used to believe…

When my dad was very little, just two or three, he was in a white family living in an all-black neighborhood. And in fact, even his dad (my grandpa) had a very dark tan and pitch black, curly hair. So, he thought that when you grow up, you turn black. He eventually figured out that there must be something wrong with that theory because his friend, Nate, also two, was black.

I used to believe that if I wasn't good I'd turn into a boy, because everywhere people were always saying: "Those boys sure are awful. I wish they could be girls." Or "Dennis, if you acted more like your sister you wouldn't be in this mess." and etc.

I used to believe…

When I was 3 or 4, and my mom told me to go into "time out", I tolded her that I wanted a new mom. So she said ok and called the "new mom store" she said that my new mothers name was Judy and she will be here any minute. So I was crying in my room and the doorbell rang, then I heard a little old lady(a.k.a. my mom) telling me to come out for supper. Then my mom told me that she wasn't real. But then we went to her friend Judy's house and I was scared because I thought that she would take me away!!

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to believe that divorce was mandatory, and you were only allowed to be married for a specific period of time. I don't know what I thought happened afterwards, but I remember being in my mother's car in the driveway at the age of 4, listening to a song about everlasting love, and then saying "Yeah, until you get divorced." My mother thought I was being needlessly cynical, but I really thought that was what happened, and that someday in the distant future, my parents would get divorced.

I used to believe…

When I was little my dad made me belive their was a midget in the box saying the numbers as you push them. He also led me to believe that he was especially trained to sound the same every time.

I used to believe…

One day our teacher asked us to find out what our parents did for a living. My mother was outraged as she is from another country and thought they were just trying to find out how much money our family made. She told me to tell the teacher she was a prostitute (I didn't know what it was). I did. You should have seen the teacher's face. She called my mom to tell her I said that.

I used to believe…

when i was like 3 i thought that when people reached a certain age they would turn the opposite sex. i dunno why.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used tob believe a brother and sister would always get married but I thought what about a sister and sister or a brother and brother? My parents cleared it out.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to write my dad 'secret admirer' letters. I told him I had borrowed paper from his daughter so he wouldn't realize who his admirer really was. Then I left the letters on his pillow...how did he figure it out?