While groing up, my dad told me I had previously been a dog. He took me to the doctor, he ave me a shot and I became a little boy. The messed up thing about it was, I am adopted. So when he told this story to a 5 year old, I really believed it! I think I was around 8 when I learned the truth. I still want to smack my dad in the back of the head to this day...
When my adult son was young, he would never open the front door for me unless I could prove that I wasn't wearing a mask that looked identical to his Mum!
I used to think that when I was in the bathroom my parents would take off their skin and just sit around as skelletons. This only slightly disturbed me, but never affected how long I stayed in there. I also never considered how they knew when I was about to come out and to put their skin back on. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who had similar thoughts
When my mom needed to stop at a store, my dad would just let her go in and we would all wait in the car. My dad hated the fact that we were always really loud, so he told us that all the people walking around were actually bears in people costumes, and if we weren't totally quiet, the bears would come eat us. Of course while we are in the back covering our mouths, being dead silent...my dad was sleeping.
My dad told me and my siblings that we were only three inches when we were born and we used to ride around in his front pocket.
I feel really stupid now.....but when I was in the second grade, my mom had been in the hospital so many times and came home with a baby every time. This time my father was in the hospital and I thought for sure he was going to bring home yet another baby.
When I was very young, my Dad was in the Navy. Naturally I spent a good deal of time asking where my Daddy was. My mother put a big picture of him onthe coffee table, so I could see him all the time, and told me "This is your Daddy." When my dad finally returned from his cruise, and we met him at the docks, I refused to talk to him, saying only "This isn't MY daddy. MY daddy's at home, on the coffee table." I believe that the picture itself was my dad.
my brother and sister (6 and 7 years older than I) convinced me at age 5 that I was an insta-baby. they said that mom had gone to Brookshires (a local grocery store) and gotten me out of the gumball machine. They went into great detail telling me how she put me in the bathtub and added water to make me. Then they told me that she had forgotten to add water to the insta-brain and it fell out. Needless to say, they told me that I would never know as much as them because I had no brain. Being the impressionable child I was, I used to say " It's not my fault! I don't have a brain! Carrie and Rick told me!"
Whenever my mom would use the phrase "I'm not telling you again..." I thought it meant she was giving up and I had won.
I used to believe that cousins had to be the same gender and age as you, to really be your cousin. This was because, coincidentally, our cousins were. (maybe our parents were competing??!!)I remember having a very heated argument with my friend when I was about 8, who told me her cousin, aged 3 was coming to stay. I told her her parents had lied about her being her cousin, and that she was just an imposter, probably not even related.