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A young lady called Sue once told me that when she was a little girl, she believed that grown-ups couldn't run - for the obvious reason that she had never seen any of them running. One day, she gave cheek to her father, then ran away, supremely confident that he would never be able to run after her. That was the day she was disabused of that delusion.
When I was younger before I could read, my mom would consult the "Mother's Book"- a dictionary in our house for any information concerning raising kids. It went something like this, "Mom, Can I stay up until 10pm?" "Well, I'll consult the Mother's Book. I'm sorry, it says right here that you can't stay up until 10pm on a school night." It wasn't until I was older and could read that I realized that it was a regular book.
I used to believe my dad knew the answers to all questions and solutions to all problems. This gave me a very comforting feeling. At the same time, I was afraid to ask him for a solution when a problem occurred (e.g. should I use the stinging desinfectant on my skinned knee or just let the blood run and do nothing?)
When I was little, my parents told me that my dad was "a full-blooded Danish man." My picture of this was that he was like a water baloon just filled with blood, and if he were to be pricked, he'd just explode.
I used to believe the song "Over the River and Through the Woods" (to grandmother's house we go!) was about MY family going to visit MY grandmother, as she did indeed live over the river and through the woods. We always sang this song on our way to visit her and so I thought that my parents had made up this song for my brother and I. Imagine my extreme shock when one day I heard this song being sung on a television show!!!
During the early nineties when when John Major was the Prime Minister, I used to see him on telly a lot. He was (and still is) a tall man with grey hair, wears sensible clothes, has a sensible haircut and wears glasses.
About that time, my father used to work away in France and Germany being away most of the week. My father is a tall man with grey hair, wears sensible clothes, has a sensible haircut and wears glasses.
I believed that they were one and the same man. I never felt it was necessary to mention this to my mother.
I now realise that one was a member of the conservative party and had an affair with Edwina Currie. The other was an alcoholic Scotsman.
I returned from a visit to my grandparents when I was 7, and my family came to pick me up from the airport. My dad had shaved off his beard and mustache and cut his hair short, but nobody had told me. I thought my mom had a new boyfriend! It was about three hours before someone called him by name and I relaxed and believed it was really my dad after all.
I learned about building card houses, and I wanted to impress my dad, so I asked if he knew about them. He said, "I *invented* card houses!" and then built one. I took him literally and thought about it all the time. I wondered why he wasn't rich or famous and why we hadn't studied him in school.
When I was about 3 or so, I had a general understanding of what the word "law" meant, but I had never heard the term "in-laws." One day I overheard my mom on the phone with her friend explaining that I was going to spend the afternoon with her in-laws. I thought that she was going to take me to a police station or courthouse instead of driving me over to my grandparents like we had planned. She had me pretty scared for a little while!
I use to think grandparents came in sizes. As in first you became a mini-grandparent then "grew" to full size agrandparent.
i used to believe parents had to decide if they wanted boy children or girl children before they had any, because my mom had four sisters and my dad had a brother. i thought my parents broke the rules because i have both brothers and sisters.
My nanna always seemed to know what was going on, specifically if I had been naughty. I once asked her, very wide eyed, how she knew all these things. Her response was that 'a little bird told her'. I was pretty litteral as a child and promptly asked her which one, she pointed to a black bird that just happened to be in her yard at the time and told me that it was him. That he was always watching me and would tell her what I had been doing.
For years my mum pointing out "nanna's blackbird is watching you." was a sure fire way of making me behave. I seem to recall that when she died (I was 7 at the time) my mum told me that the blackbird would keep carrying messages about me to her in heaven. Oddly it was really comforting and the concept of a litteral 'little bird' is still something my mum and I share a smile over to this day (23 years on).
When I was a child I thought my father was so smart, I could't believe he was't the nation's president. I thought if he were, all the nation's problems would be solved in days.
I used to believe that your parents asked people to be your grandparents once you were born, the same way they people were asked to be your godparents.
I used to think that fireworks were a natural occurence that happened every Fourth of July, and that's why we always went to watch fireworks on that day. Then my parents explained to me that people were creating the fiireworks, and that only grownups were allowed to do that. So then I believed that the fireworks were kept in a box and you had to be really strong to keep them in because otherwise they'd escape at the wrong moment.
When I was little my grandma had really long nails. Once I asked her why she didn't trim them and she said she did the day before (but didn't tell me she only trimmed them a little, I thought she had made them short and they had grown that much in one night.) Because of that and the fact that she had kind of hairy arms, I thought my grandma was a werewolf.
I only knew my parents' names when i was at the age of 7. The whole time I just thought their names were mum and dad, until i realized that everybody elses parents had the same name.
Eavesdropping on a conversation between my mother and grandma, I heard them talking about them babysitting my cousin, Fiona. My Grandma said to my mother "Oh she's so good I could eat her!" damn she got some weird stares from me when I was six
I used to believe my grandmother was just a lady my parents choosen to be my grandmother, I often thought "does my grandmother have a family, or daughters and sons?"
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, my mother and I were invited to a baby shower. I asked her why my younger brother wasn't invited and she said it was because boys weren't allowed. I agreed, and said he would probably be embarrassed with all the naked people around. When she asked what I meant she soon understood what I envisioned as a "baby shower" was where all the women invited took off all their clothes and literally showered with the newborn baby.