family

When I was little my father was very mean to me, but only in front of my family; no one else.
So I thought this was normal and that all fathers were this mean. I would be over at a friend's house and see my friend sit on her father's lap or hug him or he might give her a kiss or whatever and I would think, "She's pretty nice to be so easygoing with her dad" as I figured that as soon as I was out of earshot he would be insulting her and hitting her.

(I don't speak to him anymore)

Carrie

One day, I became very afraid that my twin sister was actually a robot, and that she was going to come steal the soul of my beloved teddy bear, Biggie. I told her that, and I would not relent. She remembers that, to this day.

tao

My grandfather used to sit me down and say, "watch this." Then he would pull and tug on his front teeth and let out a big grunt as he removed his upper dentures from his mouth. Then he would shake his head and say, "phew!" as if it had taken a lot of effort. Then he would carefully replace them and press them hard and grunt again. Then he would wipe his brow, sit down exhausted, then look at me and say, "O.K. , now you try! I think he must have gotten a lot of enjoyment in watching me try to pull out my upper teeth in one big bunch!

oakeydoottle

When I was five, I convinced myself that my brother and my parents were really aliens, and one day they would take their masks off and try to eat me.

Anon

When `i was like 4 my mum made a comment that my brother who was 5 was the "spon of satan" I then asked what this ment and was convinced for years that my brother was actually fathered by satan even telling my father that my mum had told me he wasn't my brothers dad but it was ok cos he was mine

dadadada

When I was about 8 or so, I remember my dad watching those court shows with real cases. I came to the conclusion that ALL parents had to pay child support. So one day, my dad was saying out loud some of the bills he had to pay. I then asked "What about child support?" He looked at me confused, and said "What?" I was too embarrassed to say it again, so I just walked away.

~Melissa~

I used to believe that when my parents and I were touching, they could hear my thoughts. I thought that all parents could read their kid's thoughts when they were touching and they all conspired together and decided not to tell their children so that they could hear their thoughts and hear the bad things they didn't want to tell their kids.

I really didn't like touching my parents for long periods of time then!

Emma

When I was little I usd to believe all grandmas lived in America, and when my mum was little she used to believe that all mums were fat :D

Jimbob

When I was about three or four I thought my parents had a fun party every night after I was asleep (they didn't). At night after they thought I was in bed I would sneak onto the stairway (my bedroom was on the second floor) and sit quietly, listening hard to hear if the party had started yet. But I always fell asleep before it did!

Carrie

I used to believe that if you wanted children of your own, you'd automatically get one. =]

Riko

As my parents had given me a name, I thought that it was up to me to give them names too

Anon

My brother is my half-brother from my mom and my sister is my half-sister from my dad. When I was young my brother told me he was more my sibling than my sister because we had the same mom. I believed him for the longest time!

Sam

I must have been around 7 or 8 years old when my mom informed me that she had "jewelry duty" the next day. I thought it kind of weird that she had to leave the house and go make jewelry, but hey, what the heck. When she came home the next day, I asked her to show me what she had made. She had a confused look on her face until I explained that I wanted to see what she made at "jewelry duty". She stifled a laugh and in her sweet southern accent told me that she had been called for J-U-R-Y duty, where she then explained about how people participate in the court system. Did I feel stupid? Absolutely not! I was just bummed that I didn't get any pretty jewelry from my mom! LOL!!

Karen

When I was little, my older sister told me there was this "Brother & Sister Trading Center" where she would trade me in if I behaved badly.

k

In kindergarten, I had 2 friends who were sisters. One of them was about a year older than the other. They looked a lot like each other and always were the same clothes, so I assumed they were twins :D Later on, my own sister told me what twins really were.

irinarici

In 3rd grade we started learning about immigrants so naturally I was curious and asked my dad where we came from. He told me that my great-grandparents were royalty and came to America when their small country rebelled so they wouldn't be beheaded. I went around for a year after this telling everyone I was a princess and when I grew up I would go back to this country and claim the throne.

Anon

When I was little around 5 (im adopted and have know since I can remember) I was always told I could ask what ever I wanted (about my adoption or really anything),and my mom would always give me a truthful answer...So after running out of 5 year old like questions (hard for a kid to do) I just liked for my mom to tell me stories about bringing me home and what not..In one story I remember her telling me that my dad made my bottle for me while she rocked me...I was plagued and amazed that my dad could actually make a bottle...I imagined him with a big sheet of plastic somehow bending and forming it to make a bottle.I was about 10 when I realized what he was actually doing in the story...fixing my formula!I was crushed!

Jill

When I was little my father was obviously taller than me. Therefore, when he wanted to talk to me face to face he would squat down. I thought this was a game, though, and I would squat too. It took years for me to realize my dad was just trying to talk to me with no intentions of a game.

Anon