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When I was a little kid, I was convinced that the place my mother went to get her hair "done" was the Beauty Saloon. I imagined everybody's mother sitting around in curlers, having drinks at a bar!
When I was little, my mother told me that she would swap me for another little boy every time I 'misbehaved', I always had this mental image of a supermarket-like store which sold children.
When I asked my dad why my grandpa divorced my grandma and married another woman, he told me that my grandpa realized that he had married the wrong person.
I understood that too literally.
For a very long time, I thought my grandpa mistook my grandma for another woman whom he had met before her.
Whenever we drove by the flashing red light from an antenna my dad said it was taking a picture. He always told me to smile. I use to smile for years until I figured it out. Still whenever I think about it when I see one I laugh snd still smile.
Whenever my sisters and I were being bad my mom would threaten that "Helga" was going to come babysit us. This so called babysitter was described as a horrid woman and we were terrified of her. As soon as she was mentioned we'd turn into little angles. The story of Helga kept us behaved for years.
I have an Aunt Joanne. I used to think she was the owner of every Jo-Ann's Fabrics in existence. I later learned there were other Jo-Anns in the world--who knew?
My parents have the same birthday (but my father is a year older than my mother), so I automatically assumed that ALL parents had the same birthday. When we went to a neighbors house for their birthday, I couldn't understand why it was only one person's birthday, and not both. It took me a good two hours to realize that most people's parents don't have the same birthday.
I used to believe that babies weren't actually "alive" because I knew that I couldn't remember anything from when I was a baby, so I just assumed that little kids and babies wouldn't remember anything. I asked my younger brother once, "are you alive? Do you understand what I'm saying?"
When I was little, I thought babies were born out of your belly button, and people with "outie" belly buttons had to go to the baby store and buy a baby. I also thought you could buy a boyfriend/girlfriend if you went to the back room of a Wal-Mart.
My mom always told me that she could see everything I was doing because she had eyes on the back of her head. One day as we were leaving preschool I held up my hand and asked her how many fingers I was holding up. She guessed the correct number, two, and I was convinced.
Looking back, I think she might have just seen my reflection on the window of the door we were using.
As a little kid, whenever my picture was taken, I would stretch my lips out so that my upper lip was up, and my lower lip was down, as I thought I was smiling when I did this. But when I eventually looked at my family's pictures on Picasa, I was in for a big surprise!
I thought that my parents chose my cousins, and was upset when my mother wouldn't let me add one.
When I was a kid, I used to believe that my parents were aliens wearing suits that made them look human. I thought that they would take their suits off an night when I was asleep and walk around in their natural form. I never did catch them though!
As a child I believed I was a robot and my parents were engineers and every night when I was sleeping they improved my programs and done testing on me.
When I was a kid I thought that when people got married they would stay in their parentís house and live in their room. I thought I was going to get married and have all my kids and I live in my childhood bedroom. I would play house all the time and tell them where I was going to put the crib.
When I was 5 I was driving down the m25 motorway late at night with my great nan sitting next to me in the back seat. I looked out the window and saw a blur of street lights everywhere far in the distance and asked my nan what was where the lights were? and she replied 'Thats where the Queen lives' obviously being literal as to where I was pointing towards London... Now when I'm driving on the motorway at night I always think of my nan telling me that them lights are where the Queen lives no matter where I am.. Its such a lovely memory : )
I used to believe that a person's ethnicity was determined by tiny creatures that lived in your blood. I was afraid that if I cut myself all of mine might swim out and I would never be allowed to find my birth family.
When I was little, I thought that criminals ("bad guys") were never kids. I thought that maybe they were put on the earth as criminals in the first place and they didn't have a choice on whether or not they wanted to be one. When I asked my mom this when I was little, she didn't bother in replying.
When I was little, I used to believe that my father knew everything. Literally. One day I was in the bath and asked him what time it was. There are no words for how shocked I was when he said "I don't know".
I remember telling my mom when I was about 8 that I thought it was kind of funny that she did all the work in having me and my sister and how we werent really related to our dad because all he did was stand there when she and him got married. I couldn't wrap my head around why no one else cared that they werent related to their dads. My mom looked at me strangely before laughing and walking away.