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I remember telling my mom when I was about 8 that I thought it was kind of funny that she did all the work in having me and my sister and how we werent really related to our dad because all he did was stand there when she and him got married. I couldn't wrap my head around why no one else cared that they werent related to their dads. My mom looked at me strangely before laughing and walking away.
I went to a Catholic school for elementary school. When I was about eight, we were learning about the Ten Commandments, and since they naturally glossed over the definition of "adultery," I just thought it meant looking at a man or woman who wasn't your husband or wife. That night, while my dad and I were out for dinner, he mentioned that a woman on a magazine cover looked pretty. Very loudly, I told my dad, "Daddy, thou shalt not commit adultery." The whole restaurant turned to stare at us. I don't think I've ever seen my dad so red.
I was very young (about 6-8, something like that) and I thought the word when you got married was "nude-y-wed" (not newlywed). I knew how babies were really made, and I knew you had to be naked, so the word sure sounded like Nude-y to me!)
I thought Sam Hill was an actual place that lost socks, missing earrings, etc resided. My father always said "where in Sam Hill is...." I thought he was asking my mom the exact location like an address....
I used to believe that my mom could divorce me if I was bad.It used to really upset me.
When I was about 5, my dad told me and my cousins that the grease that allowed the van door to slide open was whale poop and we shouldn't touch it.
I used to believe that my mother didn't sleep and that she was a super hero!
Up until I was about 7, I used to believe that my aunt was my mom because she closely resembled me. When my mom didnít buy something for me, I wanted to go her house because she bought lots of toys and clothes.
I used to believe that women got pregnant randomly, and at different ages because they had to wait for the "right time".
I believed that my parents took a class on how to read their child's minds. My dad always seemed to know what I was thinking!
I remember that when I was little whenever I got in trouble my mom would tell me that she kept my reciept from the hospital and that she was going to return me for another baby if I didn't behave.
When I was little my sister told me that parents had eyes on the back of their heads, so they knew every time we did something wrong. I look for those eyes for years and never found them. Some how i still believed her...
My aunt Bobbi used to tell us if we were naughty she would take us back to the store we were bought from.
So I was from target, my cousin Kaytlyn was from k-mart, and Kaytlyn's brother Gage was from wal-mart.
We were pretty convinced for quite awhile that we were from those stores, but when we got older and we knew better.
So when aunt Bobbi had another baby, Allie, we told her she was from menards and if she was naughty they would take her back. If she was acting up someone would just say "Allie, you don't want to go back to menards do you?" and she'd behave haha.
I feel kinda bad because it wasn't very funny when it was happening to us, but she's older now and she knows better, she doesn't have a complex or something :P
Whenever my grandmother would come to visit she would always leave a bit before 9:00 saying "Grandma turns into a pumpkin at 9:00." I always thought she would literally turn into a pumpkin, and I would try to find ways to make her accidentally stay past 9:00 so I could see it.
When I was four or five, my Mom would drink Coke and my Dad would drink Diet Coke so I always just believed that Coke was for girls and Diet Coke was for boys. I didn't drink Diet Coke till I was like, eight.
When i was very little (like 2) , i asked my grandma why my granddad was so fat. She told me it was because they had eaten too much pie the night before. I believed this for years. The funny thing is, i'd seen him before, and obviously he was still fat... Why didn't it click?
Both my parents used to insist to us that one day they decided to go to "Monkey Island" and they picked us out, cut off our tails and shaved us down and that was how adults got children. They also told us we had an older sister who they sent back to Monkey Island because she was a "bad/wild" monkey.
When I was little, I used to think that the car directional arrows told my father in what direction to drive :)
I used to believe social security ensured you would always have friends
When I was little, my parents told me "the only people who aren't strangers are Mommy and Daddy." I took this to mean that everyone in the world was a stranger to everyone else, except my parents, who weren't strangers to anybody.
In kindergarten I tried to convince my friend that I didn't REALLY know her, because I didn't know her middle name, etc., and because my parents said everyone was a stranger but them.