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I believed that my parents took a class on how to read their child's minds. My dad always seemed to know what I was thinking!
I remember that when I was little whenever I got in trouble my mom would tell me that she kept my reciept from the hospital and that she was going to return me for another baby if I didn't behave.
When I was little my sister told me that parents had eyes on the back of their heads, so they knew every time we did something wrong. I look for those eyes for years and never found them. Some how i still believed her...
My aunt Bobbi used to tell us if we were naughty she would take us back to the store we were bought from.
So I was from target, my cousin Kaytlyn was from k-mart, and Kaytlyn's brother Gage was from wal-mart.
We were pretty convinced for quite awhile that we were from those stores, but when we got older and we knew better.
So when aunt Bobbi had another baby, Allie, we told her she was from menards and if she was naughty they would take her back. If she was acting up someone would just say "Allie, you don't want to go back to menards do you?" and she'd behave haha.
I feel kinda bad because it wasn't very funny when it was happening to us, but she's older now and she knows better, she doesn't have a complex or something :P
Whenever my grandmother would come to visit she would always leave a bit before 9:00 saying "Grandma turns into a pumpkin at 9:00." I always thought she would literally turn into a pumpkin, and I would try to find ways to make her accidentally stay past 9:00 so I could see it.
When I was four or five, my Mom would drink Coke and my Dad would drink Diet Coke so I always just believed that Coke was for girls and Diet Coke was for boys. I didn't drink Diet Coke till I was like, eight.
When i was very little (like 2) , i asked my grandma why my granddad was so fat. She told me it was because they had eaten too much pie the night before. I believed this for years. The funny thing is, i'd seen him before, and obviously he was still fat... Why didn't it click?
Both my parents used to insist to us that one day they decided to go to "Monkey Island" and they picked us out, cut off our tails and shaved us down and that was how adults got children. They also told us we had an older sister who they sent back to Monkey Island because she was a "bad/wild" monkey.
When I was little, I used to think that the car directional arrows told my father in what direction to drive :)
I used to believe social security ensured you would always have friends
When I was little, my parents told me "the only people who aren't strangers are Mommy and Daddy." I took this to mean that everyone in the world was a stranger to everyone else, except my parents, who weren't strangers to anybody.
In kindergarten I tried to convince my friend that I didn't REALLY know her, because I didn't know her middle name, etc., and because my parents said everyone was a stranger but them.
I used to think that people were either born adults or kids and you were paired up with and adult who takes care of you.
I used to believe my dad that "sacre bleu" meant sacred cheese.. until I was 17.
Thanks to my brother, I believed thimbles had a small needle inside of it that would poke you if you put your thumb in it. I still dont feel comfortable using them.
I used to believe that my mom had surveillance cameras everywhere I went and could always see what I was doing
I used to think that all of my aunts and uncles were all of my grandparents kids. I thought they just paired off and had more kids.
I used to think my grandma was Princess Diana
My family and I live part-time in England and part-time in Italy, and when I first went to school in England one boy convinced me that my family must be gangsters. I assumed my grandfather must be the godfather, and whenever we went back to Italy I would search the house for guns.
When I was young, I was convinced that my nightlight turned itself off after I fell asleep. I would try to stay up as long as I could (usually only about 9 o'clock) but it never turned off. It wasn't until I was about seven years old that my parents finally told me they would come into my room when I was asleep to turn it off.
Because of the movie "the parent trap" I used to believe that I had a twin sister that my mom wasn't telling me about.