grown-ups: family

I used to believe that women had babies by virtue of being married and in love. Men and women got married because they loved eachother, therefore being in love produced babies. I was totally disgusted when I found out the truth (via reading Womans Own, when about age 9)

When I was a kid my great grandmother died. My mum was pretty close to her so this loss upset her for quite awhile. I didn't like seeing her cry about it so being the resourceful 4 year old I was I figured out how to cheer her up. I said "Hey don't worry mum, when I grow up i'll just built you a robot grandma!"

It seemed to be a very obvious solution to the problem at the time.

My grandfather used to tell me stories of when "he was a little girl". I was quite mystified as to how one changed sex in childhood. I wondered if I would turn into a boy, eventually. It seems this was a popular family joke, as my great-grandfather had told the same story to my dad!

First I believed that my parents were brother and sister. Then I thought that my dad was also my mums dad.

A few years ago my younger sister tried to tell me that I was adopted. I pointed out that since she doesn't have a baby album and I do (with two little kids you don't have much time to put together the younger one's album), if either of us were adopted she was the one. She persisted though, so I got fed up with it after a while and told Mom that my sister was yanking my chain. Mom thought we were talking about the treefrog that Dad had just accidentally smashed in the front door (getting its innards everywhere), so she said, "It's true!" I started to cry until she said, "He had to clean the guts off the porch!"

That was when I was about eighteen. I'm twenty-one now. Pretty sad, eh?

I thought my mom was bullsh*tting when she said my Grandma and Grandad where her parents. I really didn't comprehend it.

i used to believe that my grandparents on my father's side were both my parents' parents. I only worked out that this would mean my parents were brother and sister when i was about 10.

I used to believe that I was part of my family but it turns out thnat i am adopted, and now i have no contact with my "mum" or "dad"!

I believed that my Mum and Dad got divorced because he snored too loudly.
It was a long while before i found out that it wasn't my mums bed he snored too loudly in.

Whenever I was about to be smacked for doing something naughty (which was quite often) I used to cover my closed eyes with my hands. I used to think because I couldn't see my mum or dad, they couldn't see me..therefore they couldn't smack me!!...eerrrr how wrong was I?

My Grandad used to tell me that he had a twin brother - he used to show me a passport photo of himself and say that it was his brother. When I asked why I had never met him, he said that he lived too far away!

My Grandad used to tell me and my brother that he had a donkey living in his shed. He always had a plausible excuse for us not being able to 'visit' it. He used to pretend to take carrots out to it and one day showed my brother a squashed toy car 'that the donkey had stood on!

Not one of mine, but my younger brother David, who, after studying the family's reference books asked us all what an Encyclopsida was for.

My brother used to think that boys had blue eyes and girls had brown eyes. This is the way it is in my family (including grandparents), so it makes sense!

I used to believe that all men had blue eyes and were left handed and all women had brown eyes and were right handed. Hey, that's how it was in my family!

When I was six, my dad (I now know jokingly) told me I was adopted. I believed it for a decade until we had a row about something completely unrelated that climaxed in my screaming "YOU DON'T CARE BECAUSE I'M ADOPTED!" Ugh!