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When I was little I used to race my dad all the time. He was so much faster than me it blew my mind. I was convinced he was the fastest man in the world.
When I was younger, my dad claimed that he invented aloe vera. I believed this until I was about 15.
I believed that after my parents put me and my sisters to bed in the evening they would have a big party downstairs with all their friends. This is why they wanted us to go to bed so early.
When I was young I thought my family were aliens conducting an experiment on me. And they were just pretending that they were my family. And they spied on me through mirrors.
I honestly thought that stepping on a crack in the sidewalk would hurt my mother. Step on a crack, break your mothers back. I hated her, so I would step on the cracks on purpose and wonder why it wasn't working.
I used to stop myself from thinking about anything I didn't want my parents to hear when I was in a room with them because I thought they could listen in on all of my thoughts.
When I was about 3, I thought my 1 year old brother was a girl because A: I couldn't see his penis, and B: I thought every family had to have at least 1 boy and 1 girl for children.
when i was young before christmas my parents would phone my grand parents claiming they were santa so that we would tell them what we wanted. i had always wondered how grandma and grandpa knew what i wanted.
My dad used to tell me he had seen every episode of Road Runner, and would prove it by telling me what would happen. Even when he messed up, he claimed he was just getting the episodes mixed up. I believed him until I was a teenager.
When I was little my grandma convinced me there was a guy who lives in their refrigerator who crushed their ice, I would drink anything their because my mommy told me germs were icky.
When I was little my mom didn't allow me to participate in Halloween activities (she was very religious at the time). So every Halloween when people would come dressed up to the door I thought that they were really actual vampires, monsters, etc. and it would scare the living hell out of me. Every time I heard a knock or the doorbell ring I would run and hide in my closet so that they couldn't get me.
When I was young, my mom told me that I dropped from a mango tree that grew in the neighbour's back yard and if I went to the back yard that the neighbour would take me back. I never went to the back yard or spoke to the neighbour alone until I was eight years old that is when I found out that I was born in the hospital and the neighbour thought I was sooo cute and wanted to adopt me because he knew my grandparents.
When I was in elementary school, my family lived near a town called Carpentersville. One day I asked my mom what my uncle did for a living, and she said he was a carpenter. I spent years convinced that since he was a carpenter, my uncle (along with all the other carpenters in the world) lived in Carpentersville. As it turns out, he never even lived anywhere near that town, though even now I still catch myself thinking he used to live there!
When i was younger my Grandma convinced me that there was a left and right sock. It took me forever to put on socks til i was about 12
When my mom tried to explain "times tables" in math, I couldn't understand what an actual table had to do with anything. Math went downhill from there!
When I was about four or five years old, my older brother told me (in earnestness) that the Mona Lisa was the only painting in the world that was colored inside the lines, and that's why it was so famous. I believed him for quite a long time.
When my sister and I were young, our dad convinced us that there were little elves in EVERYTHING that made everything run. For instance: there were elves in the vending machines that pushed the snacks out, and in the pencil sharpener with little axes. He even got us to say goodnight to them every night before we went to bed.
When my mom went to work, I used to go in the backyard and yell for her thinking she could hear me when she was in a whole other town and miles away from me. I told her that and she just laughed and said she would have never heard me.
When I was little, my mom would always correct my grammar and I would argue with her about it. She would always respond with "I know what I'm talking about, I was an English major." Of course, she meant that she had majored in English in college, but at the time I thought that she was claiming to have been a Major in the English army.
My mom used to think it was funny to tell my sisters and myself random bits of nonsense. She convinced my that a certain candy bar was only for adults, to keep me from begging. I legitimately was scared to try it until I was about 11 or 12. She also convinced my 3 year-old sister that eating the colored eggs on Easter would give her chicken pox. I have never seen my sister eat eggs on Easter, and she's 16.