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When my sister and I were young, our dad convinced us that there were little elves in EVERYTHING that made everything run. For instance: there were elves in the vending machines that pushed the snacks out, and in the pencil sharpener with little axes. He even got us to say goodnight to them every night before we went to bed.
When my mom went to work, I used to go in the backyard and yell for her thinking she could hear me when she was in a whole other town and miles away from me. I told her that and she just laughed and said she would have never heard me.
When I was little, my mom would always correct my grammar and I would argue with her about it. She would always respond with "I know what I'm talking about, I was an English major." Of course, she meant that she had majored in English in college, but at the time I thought that she was claiming to have been a Major in the English army.
My mom used to think it was funny to tell my sisters and myself random bits of nonsense. She convinced my that a certain candy bar was only for adults, to keep me from begging. I legitimately was scared to try it until I was about 11 or 12. She also convinced my 3 year-old sister that eating the colored eggs on Easter would give her chicken pox. I have never seen my sister eat eggs on Easter, and she's 16.
When I was little, the only TV shows my parents ever watched were Seinfeld and Roseanne. I had no interest in Seinfeld, but the angry, constantly-shrieking-about-nothing Roseanne Barr intrigued me. After an unhealthy amount of exposure to the show combined with my own family experiences, I began to believe that all fathers' names were "Dan," since my own dad's name is Dan, and John Goodman's character on the show shares this name. The total lack of exposure I had to the first names of other fathers (who talks about that when they're little anyway?) led me to believe this odd little mistake for an embarrassing number of years.
I used to believe that if I didn't use up a pencil within the week that I had first sharpened it, it would grow back into a tree. Needless to say, my mom was very angry when she had to buy new pancils all the time!
Mom and I lived in a very small house, dead of winter. I wanted to play "Hide and Seek" and she didn't want to go outside. I was 3, so she told me that if I covered my eyes, no one could see me. Hide and Seek game was on! I was so gullible (aren't we all at that age?). That then led to her telling me that if I covered my ears and screamed, no one could hear me and the funniest one... If I plugged my nose and farted no one could smell it.
Well, a couple of years went by and I was playing Hide and Seek with a cousin, so picture this... a 6 year old standing out in the middle of the yard with her eyes closed tight. Needless to say I got tagged, and got very mad.... she cheated!
I use to believe my dad was the tallest man in the world. When I saw other guys taller than my own dad, I was confused. I didn't know whther he was still taller than them or not.
I used to believe that my Dad WAS the Incredible Hulk...
When a frisbee or ball was launched onto our roof I would put a foot in each of my Dad's hands and receive a "boost" up onto the roof.
When I was five or six, one of my older cousins had his driver's liscence suspended. I thought this meant he forgot how to drive.
When I was little I though that the clock that wake up my grandma and granddad was an screaming woman.
When I was a child, I believed that grown-ups didn't lie.
My dad used to tell us he won a gold medal at the (pick a year) Olympics in (pick a category)--malt making was my favorite. :)
When I was four, my parents told me we were going to collect my new little brother from the adoptin home, we're all adopted in our family, for quite a few years I believedthat babies came from homes
One day when I was talking to my older sisters, I asked what the word "mechanism" meant. They both stared at me very seriously and said how it was a very bad swear-word. I was horrified! For days, they threatened to tell my mom and dad i had used the word if i ever annoyed or bothered them.
i used to believe that the mom and dad i saw sleeping in bed weren't actually mom and dad, they were mom and dad robots. grown-ups never actually slept, they went and lived their second life with their other family while their kids were asleep. they had a second job and everything.
I had an uncle who was a real joker and once he told us he and his wife were twins (we were very young). I believed him for years. When I was in second grade our teacher told us we had twins moving to our town and they would be joining our class. That started a conversation about twins. Kids told her of twins in their families, and I was excited to share MY news. When I told her my aunt and uncle were twins she said she knew twins that married twins. I told her that's what my aunt and uncle did - they got married - to each other. She gave me a really funny look and asked me if I was sure. Then she asked me what state they lived in!
My college-age cousin babysat us when I was about 4 and 5. He played sports and one time he told , "you had to be stupid to live in Wisconsin." I looked up to this cousin since my parents commented frequently about how smart he was. I believed it for several years until my first grade teacher told us she grew up in Wisconsin. When I said I didn't know stupid people could be teachers I got sent to the principal's office.
My little brother was born around Easter (in April), so my parents made us believe that he had been born from one of those small chocolate eggs with a collapsible toy inside and I had built the him from the toy pieces. When my brother was being stupid or made mistakes, my parents accused me for building him the wrong way, leaving important pieces out. Most of the time I was just really proud of my creation, my brother was really cool!
My husband used to tell his two kids that children who were bad were taken to a factory and turned into poo. One day when they were acting up in the car he turned into an industrial area and pointed out a building claiming that was the poo factory. The boys quit acting up after that!