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When I was a small Child (about 3 or 4) my dad was in the navy. All I knew about the navy was that sailors would go out on ships in the ocean. To me the only thing that made since for them to do was to shoot sharks, since to me sharks were scary and served no purpose at all, other than eat people. So I would imagine my dad out at see on his ship shooting sharks.
I thought my mum was Aretha Franklin.
We are white.
But, she had a beehive like her, and talked about make up, which, of course is in the song
'I say a little prayer'
When I was younger, my dad used to play at a football ground with his mates. I was really naughty so she told me to watch out for him on tv and keep quiet. I watched a 90 minute match looking out for him, but then I realised that it was the women's football championships!
when i was younger i was very forgetful and at school i heard someone tell on someone else off for saying the 'F' word, and so i asked my mum what the 'F' word was and she told me it was a very bad word and i had to promise to never say it and never to do it. she told me the 'F' word was forget, i never forgot anything again and never said the word until i was in year five and found out what it actually meant.
When I was a child I used to belive that my father had forever been a 40 years old man.
When I was a kid my great grandmother died. My mum was pretty close to her so this loss upset her for quite awhile. I didn't like seeing her cry about it so being the resourceful 4 year old I was I figured out how to cheer her up. I said "Hey don't worry mum, when I grow up i'll just built you a robot grandma!"
It seemed to be a very obvious solution to the problem at the time.
when i was little i used to beleive my uncle had majic powers as my mum used to call him a big fairy . now that i am a lot older i know realise thats not what it meant.
My grandmother used to tell me that if I could kiss my elbow, I'd turn into a boy. My biggest concern was if I'd be able to turn back to a girl if I did it.
I'm pretty sure that the only reason for she told me this is so she could laugh at how stupid I looked trying to reach my elbow with my lips.
When I was 5 I was driving down the m25 motorway late at night with my great nan sitting next to me in the back seat. I looked out the window and saw a blur of street lights everywhere far in the distance and asked my nan what was where the lights were? and she replied 'Thats where the Queen lives' obviously being literal as to where I was pointing towards London... Now when I'm driving on the motorway at night I always think of my nan telling me that them lights are where the Queen lives no matter where I am.. Its such a lovely memory : )
As a little kid, I used to believe that my parents had adopted me and they played a role in our familal's life, about all of our life. So I starting an investigation to know if my parents were a sort of robot or anything else. I listened at the doors, to spy their discussions. I finished by to abandon because I never found evidences, for the moment...
My father used to tell me he had rubber legs. I was at least 10 at the time and knew it couldn't be true, but because I regarded him as an absolutely reliable fount of all knowledge, and because he stuck religiously to the story (and was completely deadpan), I was never quite sure!
i used to believe that everyone had a twin on the other side of the world.
When I was little, my brother and sister and I used to call one of my grandmas "regular grandma" in order to decipher between the two. One day, we went out to eat, and the waitress was about to pour my grandma some coffee. She asked, "Regular?" My grandma nodded, and she poured her some regular coffee. I was so amazed that the waitress "knew" my grandma's name.
When I was little and did something bad, my parents would always tell me about my perfect brother pete, and how they lost him and ended up with me. I really believed I had a brother Pete, and was always trying to be better than him!
I used to live in a small town predominately caucasian, when I was told at the age of 4, by my grandmother, that everyone was my brother. I spent the next year trying to convince everyone that Michael Jackson was my brother.
I used to think that my grandparents, were a lonely old couple that used to come and visit my family, because they had no children of their own to visit.
I once had a nightmare that my mom died and my dad had to take care of us. I woke up crying and went screaming to my mom and said "Mom, don't die! Daddy will make me Cinderella!" I really thought that if my mom died my dad was going to make me a complete slave. My mom still thinks that is funny.
I have a long line of ancestors in my family tree named Buckingham, and when I was in grade school I thought I must be related to the Queen of England - Buckingham Palace and all that. I used to think I was very special because of this and went around telling all my schoolmates that I was royalty and that Queen Elizabeth II was my aunt.
I used to believe I had 2 sets of parents. The nice ones and the mean ones. They would hide in their closet and switch out occasionally.
When I was very young, I used to think an "unfit mother" was literally "unfit" physically. My mom would take me out shopping, and I'd get extremely upset when I'd see an overweight woman out with her children. I just couldn't understand why the police would take her children away just because she was "unfit." It made me so sad, and I remember being glad my own mom was thin.