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When i was younger my older sister and I slept in bunkbeds.(I slept on the top bunk)
And so every night, I would climb up the ladder to my bunk. And each time i got to the third highest rung, I would try close my eyes and scramble up as fast as i could. For fear that when my sister turned into a werewolf, she would eat my ankles.
I used to wonder what kind of insect "uncles" were named after.
I had "Ants" figured out.
When I was little, my mom had taken a picture of my me and my dad in a pool with me falling into his arms because he had thrown me up. Everytime I saw this picture my dad would tell me this was the day they got me, I was a monkey that fell out of the tree, and luckily they caught me and decided to keep me. Until I was about 7 or 8 I believed them and always wondered why I wasn't growing a tail.
I used to believe that all godfathers were Italian.
I used to think that one day, my family would suddenly become broke, and we would have nowhere to live or nothing to eat. So, every morning on my way out the front door, I would pick some flower petals from our front yard as a "back-up food supply. I think I was in preschool.
When I was 6 years old, my parents (jokingly) told that I had once had an older brother, Charlie. When he brought home a B on his report card they shot him and buried him in the backyard. I made no grade less than an A until my second year of college.
This isn't one from my but from my daughter who's now 12.
6years ago i gave birth to a son. he was premature and had to be kept in an incubator for a few weeks. one day my husband brought in my six year old daughter to see him. she then went home and told everyone at school " my Mummy's put my brother Ben in a greenhouse to help him grow."
I knew from a very early age that I was adopted, but my parents always treated it like it was no big deal. So, I assumed that everyone was adopted. When I got to kindergarten, I thought my best friend was a total freak because her mom and dad had given birth to her. Why would anyone keep their own kid??
When I was 5 my step-mother had a baby. I was told that I had a half-sister. I thought they meant half girl and half boy.
My brother and I thought that Grandma lived at the airport because that's where we always went to get her. Then when we were tired of her, we took her back.
My sister once told me that my parents went to a cabbage patch and found me next to a rock. She told me the only reason they picked me was because the cabbage next to me was rotten so they had no choice. For years I thought it was true and that my parents resented me for not being ripe cabbage. Every time my parents made cabbage I would get really upset and they didn't know why. They thought it was because I didn't like eating cabbage and it wasn't until years later that they connected the dots and realized why I freaked out over cabbage.
I used to believe the song "Over the River and Through the Woods" (to grandmother's house we go!) was about MY family going to visit MY grandmother, as she did indeed live over the river and through the woods. We always sang this song on our way to visit her and so I thought that my parents had made up this song for my brother and I. Imagine my extreme shock when one day I heard this song being sung on a television show!!!
When I was younger before I could read, my mom would consult the "Mother's Book"- a dictionary in our house for any information concerning raising kids. It went something like this, "Mom, Can I stay up until 10pm?" "Well, I'll consult the Mother's Book. I'm sorry, it says right here that you can't stay up until 10pm on a school night." It wasn't until I was older and could read that I realized that it was a regular book.
A young lady called Sue once told me that when she was a little girl, she believed that grown-ups couldn't run - for the obvious reason that she had never seen any of them running. One day, she gave cheek to her father, then ran away, supremely confident that he would never be able to run after her. That was the day she was disabused of that delusion.
When I was little, my grandmother always said "those who sing before breakfast will cry before evening". I believed that this was true for years, until I learned that it was my grandmother`s way of assuring herself of quiet mornings when I visited.
When I was a little girl I truly believed that my father had magic powers and could control the traffic lights because whenever we were in town and stopped at a light he would waggle his fingers and say "Annnnnnnd you're green!" Viola! The light would change and off we'd go. For the longest time I thought my dad had this awesome ability to control the lights.
When I was really young my 16-year old sister used to tell me she could shrink me to the size of an ant anytime she wanted and that she would then step on me and that she had a brother once before who she did it to. I was terrified and tried to think of ways I would survive if I was ever shrunk that small.
When I was younger, I asked my Mom why black folks were so much better at sports than white folks, as it seemed like professional sports were dominated by African-Americans. She told me that God gave them an extra muscle, hoping that it would make up for some of the hardships they'd faced in this country. During Black History Month, I shared this fact with my 1st grade class, and my teacher quickly tried to change the subject. Unfortunately, the class was waaaaayyyyy too curious about this evolution in the human condition, and the discussion was promptly ended. When I told my Mom about how my teacher seemed to not agree with this information, she called her sister and started angrily quizzing her about the information she'd gotten from her. Apparently, my aunt thought it was hilarious that something she'd told my Mom when she was a little girl had stuck for so long that it was almost passed down another generation. I learned a lot about a lot from that one event.
I used to hit golf balls out into the field behind my house when I was about 4. I hit a ball so hard once that when me and my dad went out to look for it he secretly picked it up and threw it in the air, called my name and said look, and then proceeded to catch the golf ball. I believed that I had hit the ball so hard that it stayed in the air for the full 5 minuets.
When I went to tell my mother she called me stupid. =(
When my sister started primary school the whole class was asked to stand up and talk about their families. She proudly told everyone that when her dad was younger he travelled to school on the back of a dinosaur, which she had been led to believe. Of course the whole class laughed at her. She was furious with my dad, who hadn't realised how seriously she had taken his stories.