family

I was adopted at 2 1/2 so my Dad always told me adpoted children were the best kind because my parents got to pick me out and other parents were just stuck with the kids they got.

When my parents adopted my little sister (I was 4) they let me go into the room to "pick her out" For years I held it over her that she wouldn't even be here if I hadn't picked her out. I think I was around 12 when I remembered the detail that there was no other child in the room besides my then 9 month old sister. My sister was in the late teens when she figured out the truth.

Anon

When I was younger I used to believe that Albuquerque was in Japan, because my Japanese grandparents had a house there. This illusion was shattered when the pizza man came to the door and spoke english.... and was white.

Anon

I was really young when I saw the movie "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" and for some reason this movie convinced me that my Mom had a shrinking machine somewhere in the house. I would very carefully enter rooms, fearing that the machine was in there and that I would be shrunk. My Mom stepped on every bug she ever saw so I knew if she saw me I would be a goner!

Joshua

When I was 3 my father told me that I only have two glasses of water inside my head, and that if I waste my tears over silly things then I won't be able to cry anymore even if I am sad for real. He said one time he'd met an 8-year old boy who'd used up all his two glasses of tears and now he couldn't cry no matter what happened. To this day I am a woman who cries very rarely.

Bibi

I used to believe that if I would get "returned" to Wal-mart if I behaved badly because "he still had the receipt."

Nikkie

Sometimes, when my father was annoyed with me, he told me to "get off his case" about it. For a few years, I always responded "but dad, I'm not sitting on your briefcase!" (He had a briefcase that he took to work, and I thought it was the "case" that he was referring to!)

kero9x

i used to beleive that there was a left sock and a right sock. Every morning my sister would tell me my socks were on the wrong feed and i would switch them

Anon

One day, Mum caught my little sister playing with some of our Dad's things and exclaimed "If your father saw you doing that, he'd have kittens!" As soon as Dad (who's quite bug) got home that night, my sister ran to put her ear to his belly and, even years afterwards, was convinced that she could hear cats meowing and fighting in there!

Cat's in the Cradle

On Halloween, we used to have family parties at my Grandparents house. My Grandad always used to have a murky fish tank out and would dip his hand in every now and then take out a 'goldfish' and eat it, while it was still alive and wriggling.. it was only years later i found out my Nana used to cut up thin pieces of fish-shaped carrott for him and put them in the bowl! It grossed me out for years!!!

Anon

Mom and I lived in a very small house, dead of winter. I wanted to play "Hide and Seek" and she didn't want to go outside. I was 3, so she told me that if I covered my eyes, no one could see me. Hide and Seek game was on! I was so gullible (aren't we all at that age?). That then led to her telling me that if I covered my ears and screamed, no one could hear me and the funniest one... If I plugged my nose and farted no one could smell it.

Well, a couple of years went by and I was playing Hide and Seek with a cousin, so picture this... a 6 year old standing out in the middle of the yard with her eyes closed tight. Needless to say I got tagged, and got very mad.... she cheated!

Erica

My mom used to think it was funny to tell my sisters and myself random bits of nonsense. She convinced my that a certain candy bar was only for adults, to keep me from begging. I legitimately was scared to try it until I was about 11 or 12. She also convinced my 3 year-old sister that eating the colored eggs on Easter would give her chicken pox. I have never seen my sister eat eggs on Easter, and she's 16.

Shar.

When i was younger my Grandma convinced me that there was a left and right sock. It took me forever to put on socks til i was about 12

Mae

When I was little, I fell out of my fathers truck, onto my knee, on our cement driveway. He pointed at the crack and told me the broke the driveway which made me laugh instead of cry. I just found out that I never broke the driveway in the first place, there had always been a crack. I'm 19.

Nicole

When I was a kid during world War II, my grandmother was a keen knitter and it seemed she could create almost any shape from those flashing needles, of which she had many different types. On finding a huge pair about 15inches long, I asked my Dad what they were for, and he told me, "For knitting battleships for the Navy". Now, as every four year old knows, Dads know everything, so I accepted this as just another incomprehensible adult explanation that I still couldn't really understand. Then I saw my Mum scouring a frying pan with some metallic stuff, and she told me it was called steel wool. So that explained everything - of course you could knit with wool made of steel, so my Dad was right again and my grandma was as brilliant as I always knew she was.

Swanny

When I was first sent to school, I was convinced it was because my parents wanted to stay home and play with my barbies without me

faerle

My grandfather had to have surgery for an intestinal problem when i was very young. He had a large growth, and told me it was because he accidentally swallowed a basketball. I had a bad habit of putting non-food items in my mouth at the time, and scoffed at him. when he came home from surgery, he gave me a deflated basketball. i never put a non food item in my mouth again.

der-der-der

I used to believe my dad was the best male figure in the world and wondered why he wasn't president already.

Ivy :)

I used to ask my dad why he could tell me to do things, and he always told me it was because he is older than me, to which I responded "Just you wait until I'm older than you!"

Anon

I used to think that people were either born adults or kids and you were paired up with and adult who takes care of you.

anonymous

When I was about 5, my dad told me and my cousins that the grease that allowed the van door to slide open was whale poop and we shouldn't touch it.

TARDIS