grown-ups: family

i used to believe that my family were nice aliens that were eventually going to abduct me. but all along i knew about their secret plan so i thought i had outsmarted these aliens and i was prepared for anything!

I thought that in a Gay relationship there had to be a man playin the part of a women.
So I always asked if I heard that someone was gay: "Who is the women in the releatin ship"

When I was about 6 or 7 my dad told me that his legs were 2 different lengths. I went on thinking that until I was about 13. I though one of his legs were longer than the other!

This is actualy my brothers belief. He thought our mom was a Native American, because she smokes and he always sasw pictures of Native Americans smoking pipes. He believed this until he saw that our mom's butt wasn't red!!

I used to believe that my mother's side of the family and my father's side of the family were all related. So, I'd would be like,"Grandmother (mother's mother) have you seen Grandpapa(father's father) latley?" Even though they had never met!

When I was in elementary school, my family lived near a town called Carpentersville. One day I asked my mom what my uncle did for a living, and she said he was a carpenter. I spent years convinced that since he was a carpenter, my uncle (along with all the other carpenters in the world) lived in Carpentersville. As it turns out, he never even lived anywhere near that town, though even now I still catch myself thinking he used to live there!

Not one of mine, but my younger brother David, who, after studying the family's reference books asked us all what an Encyclopsida was for.

When I was young, I heard that every fourth person in the world was Chinese. When my brother(the fourth kid)was born,I was positive for a long time that he was Oriental.

When I was about 2 or 3, my older sister would never like me to go out with my dad when she was going out, so she would tell me that there was a big monster outside who would eat little kids like me, so when they would be outside i'd watch from the window and my sister would warn me when the monster was coming and i'd run and hide!haha

Now, I was a one of those 'nerdy' booksmart kids who thought they knew everything. One time, we were celebrating my Uncle's Dad's birthday and I was pigging out on the cake. My Mom's friends were talking about dating and I said 'I'm gonna be the person every guy wants to go out with!' My mom's friend Ed said 'Isn't that a little vain?' I shook my head and to,d him 'It's because all the guys don't have to spend money on me' Ed asked why and I told him it's because I was allergic to metal. So, instead of a guy showing up at my door with jewerly, I prefer he just bring money!
They laughed so hard I thought my mom was gonna burst. I spouted out 'What's so funny?!?' Ed laughed and said: 'That's called Prostitution honey.' To this day, I'm still embarrassed about it.

My dad told me once that he could read my mind just jokin' around, and i belived that for a long time actually now i still belive it!

my parents told me if i was bad a guy named sergent smith would take me away they showed me an abonden house and said he lived there once i was bad in the car and my mom said were takin u to sergant smith i remember cryin and screamin plaese no ill be good

I used to think that my dad was homer simpson because he had the same head shape and that we was bald like homer.
I told dad that he was homer simpson one night after the simpsons just finished.("doh"). he said he convinced me he wasn't.

I accused my parents of liking boys better than girls because I had three brothers and was the only girl. p.s. I still think they liked boys better.

on the fouth of july my cousins shot of a roman candle. but they did it from a distance. all i could see was my cousin holding a stick that shot out colors, so i thought it was a special sparkler that shot out colors.

My grandpa told me that one in every four kids were chinese. Since there were four of us, I belived for the longest time that i was chinese.