grown-ups: family

my dad told my older sis that he had never been to school. and of course she beleived him and this went on till she was about 13 and figured it out. the schooling system put her in the smart people classes to lol

I was cleaning my bike one day, I was about 10 years old. Dad came in and saw I was having a bit of a hard time getting it clean, and told me I'll have to use some "elbow grease"
He went away and I was left wondering where this elbow grease was, so I went and asked my mum. They had a good laugh at my expense!

I used to believe that my Dad was the tallest man in the world, thanks to my Mum being so proud at how tall he was. Then one day at the department store a rare black man that was a great deal taller than my Dad walked past us and I remember being so stunned, not at the fact that he was black, but the fact that he was taller than my Dad. I asking my Mum about that and her reply was that blacks are like that. I still never understood her answer and she wouldn't elaborate...

I WAS FOUR WHEN MY BROTHER WAS BORN AND I WAS HELD UP TO THE NURSERY WINDOW TO SEE HIM. IN MY MEMORY, I WAS STANDING & LOOKING DOWN AT HIM IN A HOLE. WHEN I HEARD HE WAS GOING TO GET A SHOT, I ENVISIONED HIM BEING SHOT WITH A MACHINE GUN. THEREAFTER I WAS TERRIFIED OF GETTING A SHOT!

When I was little, the only TV shows my parents ever watched were Seinfeld and Roseanne. I had no interest in Seinfeld, but the angry, constantly-shrieking-about-nothing Roseanne Barr intrigued me. After an unhealthy amount of exposure to the show combined with my own family experiences, I began to believe that all fathers' names were "Dan," since my own dad's name is Dan, and John Goodman's character on the show shares this name. The total lack of exposure I had to the first names of other fathers (who talks about that when they're little anyway?) led me to believe this odd little mistake for an embarrassing number of years.

I used to believe that ur parents cud read ur mind.

When my sister and I were young, our dad convinced us that there were little elves in EVERYTHING that made everything run. For instance: there were elves in the vending machines that pushed the snacks out, and in the pencil sharpener with little axes. He even got us to say goodnight to them every night before we went to bed.

Here in NJ, there used to be (I don't think it exists anymore) a psychiatric hospital commonly referred to as Marlboro...from the town or township it was in, I think.

When I used to drive my mother to distraction, she'd tell me I was going to "Drive her to Marlboro". In my naive, little kid mind, I thought she meant that she was going to change cigarette brands.

In my young days I believed that all people are related to me and irrespective of caste creed or colour, I considered them all as my superiors and I almost bowed before them, with the result that some of them thought that I was making fun of them.

once i saw my mum and dad snoggin so i thought it was a sighn of friendship so the next day i went into school and snogged a girl so she thought i was a lezi

When I was little that when children grew up to be adults that they grew back down to be children and babies again. I never knew where old people came into the picture. I guess my head got screwed up somewhere.

My uncle was always teasing me and my brother, and by the time I was in my late teens, we were both so used to his b.s. that we took anything he said with a grain of salt. One day he told us there was a movie called "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". We didn't believe him...and then years later we found out it was true.

when i was in the second grade i was making a necklace with my mom. since i was only about 7 i liked to make necklaces. it was past my bedtime wen i got finished and i showed my older sister the necklace and said "look what i made with mommy!" and she said "only gay people make necklaces with their mommys." i hardly knew what that meant but i knew it was bad so i went to bed and thought i was gay. but i know im no t gay now cuz that was about 10 years ago.

My mom made me believe that if I unplugged the timer on my TV and plugged it in that it would break my TV. I didn't find out till I was in middle school. Thanks Mom, I'm still an Insomniac

I used to believe that everyone's father was a scary, mean man like mine, so I was extra careful to keep my distance from everyone else's father, too.

When I Stayed At My Grandpas With My 2 Sisters We Would Ask Him If He Could Give Us PiggyBacks. When We Asked Him He Would Say Nah! I Got A Bone In My Leg! And We Would All Together Pick Him Up Off His Chair. Then When We Grew Up A Bit He Said Nah! I Got A Bone In My Leg And We Said: We Would Hope So!