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For some reason, when I was two years old, I was absolutely convinced my grandfather was in The Rolling Stones. Now, they weren't really popular at the time, as it was the early 90s, so I have no clue how I even knew about them, but I could not be deterred. even though he told me several times he was a retired insurance agent, I figured that was just his cover.
I used to open umbrellas in the house all the time until my uncle told me that since i opened an umbrella inside when i turned 10 all my toes would fall off. So i believed it until i was 10 and my toes didn't fall off
Whenever my grandmother would come to visit she would always leave a bit before 9:00 saying "Grandma turns into a pumpkin at 9:00." I always thought she would literally turn into a pumpkin, and I would try to find ways to make her accidentally stay past 9:00 so I could see it.
I used to believe that my Uncle was Noel Edmonds. He isn't but I used to think that was his job and he couldn't tell anybody.
My uncle has been bald for as long as I can remember. When I was about six, I asked my dad why my uncle was bald. My dad replied that one day when my uncle was on his motorbike, all his hair had just blown off. I thought that my dad was the fountain of all knowledge, and believed this story for several years. Many years later I told my dad how I'd believed his ridiculous story for a long time, and he was amazed that I had believed it at all. I was so convinced by the story, that I told all my friends at school that my uncle's hair had blown off while he was riding his motorbike.
My mother used to tell me that when she got too stressful she was going to "Mother Mother Land". I used to believe that she went to this place via her closet, and when I imagined it I thought of many mothers kneeling down along this long red carpet with a head mother at the throne.
When I was about 4, my sister and I used to take a shower together, so she could help me wash my hair. Well one day she was washing my hair and she told me that the shampoo that she used would turn my hair into gold. Then she told me that when I fall asleep our parents would cut it all off and sell it to get money and that I would be bald, and that they didn't like bald kids so they would sell me also. She also told me that I had another sister that I didn't know about because they had sold her too. I had nightmares for about a week after that. And I also asked my parents how many children they really had.
My Grandad was called Ken and used to own a cafe before I was born. He also looked a bit like Colonel Sanders, so I thought he must run the whole KFC chain and that it was named after him (I kind of assumed his middle name must be Tucky). It was years before I actually bothered to think about this properly and realised it wasn't true.
My grandmother told me when I was a small child that the reason my grandfather did not have hair was because everytime she kissed him he lost a hair. I would not let my grandmother kiss me until I was much older.
It never occured to me that my mom was once a kid,when she told me I remember thinking she was lying to get me to stop crying.
I used to believe that my Dad was the first person in the world who knew how to drive a car and that he taught everyone else
I seriously used to think my grandma was Julie Andrews. I refused to believe my actual grandma was related to me.
When I was 3 or 4, I thought the man on the box of Quaker Oats products was my grandma. For some reason I can't entirely comprehend, they looked alike to me back then.
When I was young, around 6 or 7, I saw my mum taking some tablets in the kitchen. I asked what they were (I was very nosey/inquisitive and liked asking questions) and she said they were to 'stop mummy from having any more babies.'
By this point I already had a younger brother and sister so had a vague idea of where babies came from, in that they came from mummy's tummy, but I had no idea about what daddy's role was in it all.
For years I was terrified that when a girl got old enough she would spontaneously start having babies and that you needed to take these tablets to stop it.
When i was 5 years old i used to think that family time meant that you were timed when you were with your family.
My little brother was born around Easter (in April), so my parents made us believe that he had been born from one of those small chocolate eggs with a collapsible toy inside and I had built the him from the toy pieces. When my brother was being stupid or made mistakes, my parents accused me for building him the wrong way, leaving important pieces out. Most of the time I was just really proud of my creation, my brother was really cool!
I used to believe that my dad was a lion tamer and that his best friend owned a circus, and that i was going to become the best clown ever, i believed it till i was 12.
When I was little, I thought that after my parents putted me in bed they'd watched TV and never slept during the night.
As a kid, I used to believe that our parents could hear our thoughts. I was careful not to think of something they wouldn't like me thinking
When I asked my dad why my grandpa divorced my grandma and married another woman, he told me that my grandpa realized that he had married the wrong person.
I understood that too literally.
For a very long time, I thought my grandpa mistook my grandma for another woman whom he had met before her.