grown-ups: getting older

when I was young and I would hear a women complain she had crows feet, I believed when you got older you feet changed into,well crows feet. I was about 16 when mom said it and I freaked out. She told me what it really meant.

When I was little I had a very balanced, cyclical view of life. First of all, I thought little boys grew up to be "big girls" (i.e., women) and little girls grew up to be "big boys" (i.e., men). When my parents told me I would never be a big boy, I cried.

At the same time, I also thought that young people got old and old people young. By the time I was my grandmother's age, she would be my age! I don't remember when this illusion was shattered.

Since my aunt was in the army and my dad tried to be in the army (they refused to let him since he didn't have good use of his legs), and since my grandpa was in the army, I thought that when you turned 18, someone made you join the army. I was terrified of the army, and I never wanted to grow up.

When I was younger, in most of the couples that I knew, the man was older than the woman. This somehow gave me the idea that men always grow up to be older than women. The younger son of my mom's friend was harassing me by saying that he was older than me. His mom said "No, Christopher, she is older." I matter-of-factly told her, "I'm older right now, but he's sort of right becuase boys always grow up to be older than girls." I was quite confused when she set me straight.

I used to believe that when you "became" a grown-up (a huge, dramatic event in which you went to bed as a kid, and then magically, when you woke up, you'd turn into an adult, complete with Disney-esque fairy dust, lol), you'd automatically know everything, and be perfect. So, if my parents got angry with me when I was a kid, it was just because they were impatient that I had yet to undergo the "amazing transformation" that they had, and become perfect like them. Over time, however, I figured out the truth, by watching my parents screw up from time to time, like the time my mom knocked the sugar bowl on the floor and yelled "Damn it!!!" thus teaching me my first psuedo-swear word at the age of three. Or the time my dad built me an intricately designed tree house when I was four, complete with stairs, a porch, and three windows, that he said required trigonometry to build.....but he stupidly measured the door EXACTLY to my four-year-old height, not taking into consideration the fact that I would GROW. Or the time my dad decided to make a "golf course" in the backyard, so me and my brother could practice with our Fisher-Price golf clubs, and he used soup cans as the golf holes, which worked great until the first time it rained, and they filled up with rain and leaves and rust......or the time my dad was teaching my brother to ride a bike, but he neglected to teach him how to stop, until he rode his bike into the garage door and cut his lip and had to get stitches and subsist on Carnation Instant Breakfast for a few days. I have more stories, but I can't really think of any more off the top of my head right now, lol.

My dad was born in 1943 and was drafted into the Army during Vietnam; he was discharged two years later. So for years I believed that every adult male had to be in the military for two years. I really dreaded it for a long time.

When I was little, I thought that when I reach my mom's age, I had to call her something else besides 'mom'. I went up to her and asked her "mom, what do i call you when i'm older?"

I used to believe that when you got older you would be able to read other people's mind. I thought this because I would watch my mom and her friends talking and one would start a sentence and someone else would finish it.

My mother always said I should write a book called, "I Useda Think.." Finally There's a place out there for all the rediculous things "I Useda think" as a child. One of them goes like this..

I Useda Think that If you were born as one sex, half-way through your life you turned into the other sex.

My parents grew up in the Third World nation and my mother and my father's height was only 5' 2". I used to think that if my parents would apply for a job, watch R movies, purchase alcohol, drive, or anything that is for grown-ups, people would might say that they're still a child or they're not adults yet. Because most of the people that I see in America were at an average stature from 5'7 to 5'11. In my view, my parents were like teenagers because of their height.

I used to think grown-ups could see what kids were thinking because kids' foreheads acted like mini tv screens, which showed whatever the kid was thinking. This was confirmed when my mom was excited about me getting my bangs cut off. I thought the adults just all knew never speak about this ability, and I made sure to think nice thoughts when adults were around. I couldn't wait to grow up.

When I was little, around 4 or 5, I used to think that when you feel in live, you'd hear the angels sing...

Also, I used to believe that love was just a game people played

My son when he was aged 4 asked me: "Mummy when I am 5 will I have a 'five-head'?" Completely puzzled, I asked him what he thought a five head was and he replied "What my forehead will turn into when I am 5" (Now he has an 'eighteen-head'!)

I used to believe that someone who reach 13 could do anything like work to earn money, drive, vote, posess adult material, watch R-rated movies, smoke, drink alcohol, be alone, etc.

When my sister and I were little my dad had a white spot on his beard. When we would ask him what it was he would tell us he spilt milk on it. We believed him until we were 11 and one of our friends old us it was because he was old. We were devastated!!

when i was about 4, i thaught that kissing a boy (THUNG!) was the ugliesst and grosest thing in the world. But i saw the people from US kissing and i am from romania, so i was releaved, thinking "Fuh!In our country the kiss is INTERDICCTED!!!!"