grown-ups: getting older

My grandparents used to manage an apartment building for senior citizens. One of the tennants was an older gentleman who had a condition that caused his entire body to shake (I think it was Parkinson's disease or something). Now, this was at the height of the "breakdancing" craze in the 80's. I mistakenly thought his gyrations were dance moves, and not involuntary. For months I thought I had discovered the hippest senior on the planet, until one day my mom stopped me from going outside with a boombox for him

When I first heard about evolution and "humans coming from monkeys" I honestly thought that we were never babies, but monkeys that turned into people. I figuered we never saw the change because it happened in the wild.

In kindergarten I finally admitted to my mom that I never wanted to be a teenager because teenagers have to go on dates with boys and take off their clothes.

She assured me that the clothes part was completely optional.

When you grow up you become the opposite sex. When I was a little girl I would often talk about what I was going to do when I was older and I would start out the sentence with, "When I grow up and become a man..."

When I was younger i believed that when you had children you could read your kids minds. I never thought bad things about my parents when they where near me until I was about ten years old.

Red hair tends to skip a generation in my family. When I was little, my parents told me that my grandfather had red hair before I was born but he had gray hair at the time. Somehow I figured out that the whole reason that old people had gray hair was because they had to give away their color to their grand kids when they were born.

I used to believe that when a person got old, they turned Italian- as a child the only old people I knew actually spoke Italian, I had never come in contact with a non-Italian senior.

My oldest sister is 15 years my senior. I used to think that she was older than my mom.

My 6 years younger sister used to tell me that I was younger than her. She was just growing backwards.

I was convinced that your clothes would grow right along with you. I was happy to know I could wear my favorite shirt forever.

When I was little I used to think that adults had a very hard time not tipping over due to their height... I was scared to grow taller.

I used to believe that adults (when they just became adults) had a meeting with all the monsters and horror movie characters. They drank coffe, chilling chat so adults would not be afraid of 'em anymore.

And that was my theory of why adults were never (uh-huh) afraid of anything. (: jaja

You know how when you're little your parents tell you that you can be anything you want when you grow up? Well I took that literally and wanted to be an elephant when I grew up.

Once, when I was 5, my brother and I were swimming in our pool. My fingers were starting to get wrinkly and I showed him. He told me that meant I was turning into an old lady. I cried.

I used to believe that when I turned 6 I would turn into a boy! My brother and sister had me convinced their baby pictures were each others. I think I was more nervous the day before my 6th birthday then any other day in my life.

When i was about 4, i had heard about inches and knew they measured how tall you were, but i hadn't heard anything about feet, other than the ones i walked on, of course.
One day, an old friend of my mom visited. She hadn't seen me for a while and said "wow, your growing up. Youve grown another foot since i saw you last!" I began to panic and desperately looked at my feet. Then i looked at my moms friend and angrily accused "your lying, i still have 2!"