grown-ups: marriage

When I was younger I started to wonder how my mom can dad can just get dressed and undressed in front of each other so nonchalantly even though they were opposite genders. I asked my older sister, and she told me that when people get married, they have to go into a room and stand naked in front of each other. This made me nervous to get married. I also figured that if two people got married and they had children, like in The Brady Bunch, that the children would have to do the same thing with their new step siblings.

I used to believe that when a man and woman got married they would get a baby (I never knew about sex). My mom told me that when I asked “Where do babies come from”.

I used to believe that if I put my dad's toothbrush close to my mom's toothbrush, with the bristles touching - like a kiss - they would never fight and be together forever.

I used to think that I would get married for sure and have to kids, a boy and girl and it would be that easy for that to happen.

I used to think that I would do absolutely anything for my wife/girlfriend, even if she hurt my feelings and I would get her anything she wanted. When I think about this now it kind of sounds like I would be smothering her a little bit.

When I was very small I thought that when a couple got married they had to have sex in the church during the ceremony! My only knowlege of sex was from watching dogs mate so I thought the bride dropped to her hands and knees and the reason for the long train on the dress was to covet up the "action".whenever we were invited to a wedding I would cry hysterically out of embarressment so I never went to a wedding and found out I was wrong for years.

My parents' birthdays are only two days apart. When I was a child, I thought that people had to be born in the same week in order to get married. When I was ten I met a girl named Theresa whose parents were 15 years apart and I thought (in secret) that their marriage must not be real. I thought the father was probably really Theresa's grandfather and that she was just stupid. I was pretty condescending to her after that.

I used to believe that a preacher at a wedding ceremony would ask the groom, "Do you take this woman to be your awful wife?", instead of "lawful" wife. I could never understand why anyone would want to marry an "awful" wife.

Both my parents were married to other people before they married eachother, so when I was little I believed you have your first practice husband/wife to work out the kinks, and then you had your second one that would last a life time!

When I was 4 I thought the minister gave the bride and groom a brand new last name when they got married. l asked my dad what his maiden name was and my parents burst out laughing. I got so upset because I just wanted to know his old name.

I used to think that it was illegal for the wife to be taller than the husband. When we visited my parents' friends, I was horrified to find that the wife was significantly taller than the husband. I remember looking out the back window as we were leaving and waving at them because I knew that they would get arrested soon.

When I was little I thought that children had to marry their parents, so i thought I was going to marry my dad until my mom explained that that's not how it works.

When I was little, I used to believe that you would get arrested if you got married/divorced more than 4 times. I believed it for longer than I care to admit.

People who step on the same step of the staircase at the same time with the same foot are destined to be with each other.
So I was freaked out when there was an old lady climbing stairs next to me.

I used to believe that if you had sex, you had it before you married someone and then stopped after your wedding.

When I was a little girl, like four years old, I thought you could marry anyone you wanted, including your siblings. I thought it would be easier to marry a sibling because you had known them your whole life, you knew everything about them, and you wouldn't have the trouble of getting to know somebody new. I only had sisters and no brothers, so I assumed I was out of luck, but my friend had a twin brother. I said to her, "When we're grownups, why don't you just marry him?" She explained to me that you don't marry siblings. I'm lucky she knew that, or I wouldn't have cleared it up at an early age.

I used to think marrage was just so moms can have kids and the only reasons dads did it was because the moms took care of them. When my dad left I thought it was because he didnt like my moms cooking anymore.