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marriage

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Until the age of 9, I used to believe that marriage was a fancy church wedding that commenced in the bride and groom HAVING SEX in front of everyone. No wonder why I never wanted to get married.

Elisabeth B.
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I thought that you actually went to the moon on your honeymoon.

Moonwalker
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I used to think that lesbians would marry gay guys. The gay guys would turn into a woman and the lesbian would turn into a man.

Amanda
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As a young kid, I knew that a prince was the son of the king and queen. So I therefore deduced that Prince Philip must be the Queen's son. When I later learned that he was actually her husband, I then deduced that she'd married her son. I thought there was nothing stange about this, though - I guess the Oedipus story would've gone right over my head, in that case!

Rob
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The first wedding I went to was last summer, so I wasn't too familiar with the exact wording the minister used when he wed the couple.

I used to think, when he asked the man, "Do you take, Ms. so and so, to be your awfully and dreaded wife?"

Rebecca Sears
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When I was little I was a flowergirl for my uncle's wedding. They were getting married outside and it was just a little windy so the first flower petal I threw down landed right in the bushes. I spent a panicy minute trying to get it out quickly thinking that the bride had to step dirrectly on every flower because she didn't know where she was going.

Puck
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I used to believe that gay men and gay women got married to each other because I thought gay men thought they were girls and gay women thought they were boys

Anon
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when i was about five it was my grandparents' wedding anniversary. My mum told me that it meant that they'd been married for forty years. I thought she meant that they got married again every year.

stupid girl
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For several years after I first heard the term "bridal shower", I envisioned that it meant putting a bride, in her bridal gown, in the shower and turning the water on until she was soaked. I supposed she would be lucky if her gown completely dried out in time for the wedding.

Charlie
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i used to believe that everyone got married the day they graduated from college

Anon
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When I was six or seven I asked my little brother to marry me when we were grown ups so that we could live in a house and collect rocks together. He agreed.

R
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I used to think that it was illegal for the wife to be taller than the husband. When we visited my parents' friends, I was horrified to find that the wife was significantly taller than the husband. I remember looking out the back window as we were leaving and waving at them because I knew that they would get arrested soon.

Anon
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My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. To get divorced, I thought they had to go to the church where they were married, and walk backwards from the front of the isle to the back. I even pictured my mother holding a bouquet during the reverse ceremony.

TZ
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My parents have the same birthday. When I was little, this led me to believe that if you were going to marry someone, you HAD to have the same birthday!

Jenni
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When I was little I used to think that when you were ready to get married you went to this big room and just picked the man you wanted. I always thought I would pick Dr. Kildare.

Joyce
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When I was little, I used to believe that divorce was mandatory, and you were only allowed to be married for a specific period of time. I don't know what I thought happened afterwards, but I remember being in my mother's car in the driveway at the age of 4, listening to a song about everlasting love, and then saying "Yeah, until you get divorced." My mother thought I was being needlessly cynical, but I really thought that was what happened, and that someday in the distant future, my parents would get divorced.

Abby
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When I was little, I used to think that a wedding was where people went, with the hope of finding the right partner and getting married there. I was therefore mystified when I first found out that my mum and dad knew each other before they were married!

Anon
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I used to believe that when you got married you had to choose whether you wanted to be cremated or buried when you died. i used to feel sad that such a happy occassion should be marred by having to think about death. i also worried that i was running out of time to make my decision. (i was about 5 at the time)

jo
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I thought that children were not allowed to go to baby showers or wedding showers because it was an adults only event where they literally took showers together.

Chris
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After watching too much English tv, I used to believe that only men named James could get married. When I realised there were hardly any men named James in Belgium (where I live) I cried for days thinking I'd never find a husband unless I moved to England.

Devilfish
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