grown-ups: marriage

Once when I was very little, I told an older cousin that I wanted to marry my brother when I grew up. I believed I could do this -- I didn't know anything about incest at the time. When my cousin told me that I couldn't marry my brother because we were part of the same family, I yelled, "Shows what you know! My mommy and daddy are married, and THEY'RE part of our family, too!"

As a young kid, I knew that a prince was the son of the king and queen. So I therefore deduced that Prince Philip must be the Queen's son. When I later learned that he was actually her husband, I then deduced that she'd married her son. I thought there was nothing stange about this, though - I guess the Oedipus story would've gone right over my head, in that case!

The first wedding I went to was last summer, so I wasn't too familiar with the exact wording the minister used when he wed the couple.

I used to think, when he asked the man, "Do you take, Ms. so and so, to be your awfully and dreaded wife?"

When I was little I was a flowergirl for my uncle's wedding. They were getting married outside and it was just a little windy so the first flower petal I threw down landed right in the bushes. I spent a panicy minute trying to get it out quickly thinking that the bride had to step dirrectly on every flower because she didn't know where she was going.

when i was about five it was my grandparents' wedding anniversary. My mum told me that it meant that they'd been married for forty years. I thought she meant that they got married again every year.

For several years after I first heard the term "bridal shower", I envisioned that it meant putting a bride, in her bridal gown, in the shower and turning the water on until she was soaked. I supposed she would be lucky if her gown completely dried out in time for the wedding.

When I was six or seven I asked my little brother to marry me when we were grown ups so that we could live in a house and collect rocks together. He agreed.

I used to think that it was illegal for the wife to be taller than the husband. When we visited my parents' friends, I was horrified to find that the wife was significantly taller than the husband. I remember looking out the back window as we were leaving and waving at them because I knew that they would get arrested soon.

My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. To get divorced, I thought they had to go to the church where they were married, and walk backwards from the front of the isle to the back. I even pictured my mother holding a bouquet during the reverse ceremony.

My parents have the same birthday. When I was little, this led me to believe that if you were going to marry someone, you HAD to have the same birthday!

I used to believe that a preacher at a wedding ceremony would ask the groom, "Do you take this woman to be your awful wife?", instead of "lawful" wife. I could never understand why anyone would want to marry an "awful" wife.

When I was little I used to think that when you were ready to get married you went to this big room and just picked the man you wanted. I always thought I would pick Dr. Kildare.

When I was little, I used to believe that divorce was mandatory, and you were only allowed to be married for a specific period of time. I don't know what I thought happened afterwards, but I remember being in my mother's car in the driveway at the age of 4, listening to a song about everlasting love, and then saying "Yeah, until you get divorced." My mother thought I was being needlessly cynical, but I really thought that was what happened, and that someday in the distant future, my parents would get divorced.

I thought that children were not allowed to go to baby showers or wedding showers because it was an adults only event where they literally took showers together.

When I was little, I used to think that a wedding was where people went, with the hope of finding the right partner and getting married there. I was therefore mystified when I first found out that my mum and dad knew each other before they were married!

I used to believe that when you got married you had to choose whether you wanted to be cremated or buried when you died. i used to feel sad that such a happy occassion should be marred by having to think about death. i also worried that i was running out of time to make my decision. (i was about 5 at the time)