workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When watching the news, I would see reporters talking into these things they held in their hands. They looked sort of like ice cream cones. So I figured TV reporters were always eating ice cream.
When I was young, I would always believe that when my dad went to work. He would just turn this great big wheel ( like a ships wheel ) with his bare hands. That's what he did all day.
I thought cashiers and toll collectors got to keep all the money they received.
I used to think that Mormon missionaries were men who had received too many speeding tickets.
This came from a line of questioning when my dad had explained that "If you speed, a policeman might pull you over and give you a ticket."
Somebody giving me something for free, especially a "Ticket" (to a park? to a movie?) sounded like a good thing to me, so he had to explain further that "if you get too many tickets, you cant drive a car any more."
A few weeks later, I saw two men, dressed nicely with dress shirts, ties, and slacks riding bicycles.
I must have realized that they looked far to dressed up to be riding just for fun, and assumed they were going to work, but "must had received too many tickets" and couldn't drive in a car.
I didn't mention it for a long time, and would occasionally see pairs of men riding bicycles, and it just seemed obvious that, indeed, some people got too many speeding tickets and had to ride bicycles to work.
When I was a child, i was told I could be anything I wanted to be when i grew up. So naturally, i wanted to be the guy who got to ride on the back of a garbage truck. They had all the fun.
When I was about 5, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I replied with "Police dog", genuinely believing that it was possible. I'm amazed my parents didn't just put me in a box labelled "unwanted" and leave me out in the street.
i used to believe for a long time that engineers are those people who drive railway trains(i.e the engine)
Until I was 23 I honestly beleived that the practice towers at firestations were for firemen to stand on top of and watch for fires.
I must have been about seven or eight, and my little brother maybe four, when Uncle Ken came to stay with us for a couple of weeks, all the way from Australia. He wasn't a real uncle, just a friend of my dad's, but we'd never met anyone from Australia before. Naturally we wanted to know what his life was like.
He told us in all seriousness that he was an alternative kangaroo tamer. He would calm the spirits of rowdy kangaroos by playing them Rolf Harris records to hypnotise them. The kangaroos would bounce up and down in time to the beat until they fell into a sleepy trance.
I must have been twelve when it clicked that bouncing up and down did not lead to a hypnotic trance. Naturally it took another couple of years for me to be sure he'd been having us on.
I believed that, while my father went to work, he didn't actually have a job. That was because there were only three things you could do that were considered jobs: you could be a fireman, a policeman or a chef. I think I considered it important to have a special hat.
When I told my kindergarten teacher that my dad had no job, she became concerned.
When I was around four, I used to think that my doctor lived at the doctor's office. Then one day she mentioned something about going home, and I said, "But don't you live here?" She and my mother got a laugh out of it..
I used to believe that my aunt who goes to wark at Jupiter, Florida, went to the Planet Jupiter.
i used to believe my dad was the greatest while he worked in a pizza chain store. the pizza logo on the top of his car made me proud. i wasn't that impressed when he owned his own construction business or took me on cruises.
In my parents' wedding album, they have a picture of them edited so it looks like they're in a wine glass. When I was four, my dad convinced me that they shrunk small enough to fit in the glass! From this, I determined that wedding photographers had special powers.
i used to think that customers were people who work behind counters until i learnt what they really were at drama club
I used to believe that there was one mailman for everyone in the world. And he delivered everyone's mail the same way Santa delivered everyone's gifts.
One summer I realized all kids got a break from school in the summer. So I asked Mom, "Does Dad go on summer vacation from work, too?" I guess I thought Dad was going to some kind of grown up school.
My mom is a doctor, and I remember that one day (I was about 6) she was talking about the fact that she had to perform a prostate exam. I had heard of a job called "prostitution" so I figuered that a prostitute was just someone who did prostate exams, (so basically, it was a fancy word for a doctor.) So, on parents day, (our parents came in and talked about what they did for a living) I wanted to impress my teacher by using big words... You can see where this is going. When it was my turn, I grabbed my mothers hand, marched up in front of the class, and loudly proclaimed "This is my mother, and she is a prostitute!"
One day my dad came home from work and we were all sitting round the table eating dinner. Dad wasn't happy and mum ask if everything was ok at work. Dad said that he had given Donna his reciptionist, the sack. I sat there thinking why has he given her a heshan sack, what can she do with that? For years i thought that getting the sack meant that you were given a heshan sack until one day i just learnt that it meant you've lost your job.
i wanted to work in the mcdonalds drive through and was certain i would live in a mansion. then reality came crashing down on me...