workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
One summer I realized all kids got a break from school in the summer. So I asked Mom, "Does Dad go on summer vacation from work, too?" I guess I thought Dad was going to some kind of grown up school.
My mom is a doctor, and I remember that one day (I was about 6) she was talking about the fact that she had to perform a prostate exam. I had heard of a job called "prostitution" so I figuered that a prostitute was just someone who did prostate exams, (so basically, it was a fancy word for a doctor.) So, on parents day, (our parents came in and talked about what they did for a living) I wanted to impress my teacher by using big words... You can see where this is going. When it was my turn, I grabbed my mothers hand, marched up in front of the class, and loudly proclaimed "This is my mother, and she is a prostitute!"
One day my dad came home from work and we were all sitting round the table eating dinner. Dad wasn't happy and mum ask if everything was ok at work. Dad said that he had given Donna his reciptionist, the sack. I sat there thinking why has he given her a heshan sack, what can she do with that? For years i thought that getting the sack meant that you were given a heshan sack until one day i just learnt that it meant you've lost your job.
i wanted to work in the mcdonalds drive through and was certain i would live in a mansion. then reality came crashing down on me...
When I was in the second grade, the kid who sat behind me would always do really gross things. One day I looked back and caught him trying to put the pointy end of a pencil in between his eyelid and push back (like, into the back of his eye... gross), and so I asked him what he was doing. He told me "Don't try this, I'm a professional." So, for the longest time, I thought that anyone distinguished as a "professional" poked lead pencils into the back of their eyes. I guess that's why I thought my dad's boss was crazy.
One day my dad came home and said he had "fired" someone. I thought he had fired a gun at him and shot him!
I remember the first time I learned there was a place in hospital called 'casualty', I assumed it must be the 'casual' area - where all the doctors wear jeans + t-shirts + just lay around doing nothing all day.
When I was a little girl in Kindergarten the teacher asked everyone, "what they wanted to be when they grew up"? I answered, a monkey! Because monkey's don't work and they just hang around all day and have fun at the zoo and at the circus.
When I was little I, for some reason, thought that my mother only made five dollars on every paycheck. I was always happy on the days that she got paid, but always wondered how we could afford things with only five dollars every other week.
I used to believe Molly Meldrum could do any mans job. I imagined him as a plumber, builder, painter etc..
I THOUGHT PLUMBERS PICKED PLUMS FROM TREES ALL DAY HAAA HAAA
When i was 4 i used to belive my dad was nocternal because he used to do a night shift!
I used to believe that EVERYONE wanted to be an astronaut when they grew up. I guess I thought most adults had tried and failed, and had settled for an inferior option.
when I was little, i thought people that worked in stores that were open 24 hours a day never got to go home and had to work forever.
When I was about 5, when I was told my dad got a lift to work, I thought he went in an actual lift - I was confused how he got there like that!
When I was little I used to think that there was just one mailman for the entire world and that was why our mail always came so late in the day.
When my mother said the Venetian blind factory would be built in Fresno, I marveled that blind Venetians could construct anything.
When I was about 6 or 7 my Dad worked and got to fire people a lot. When he came home one night and said he had fired someone, I thought, that's horrible how could Daddy be that mean? Until I was aroung 10 I thought that if you got fired, whoever fired you took you outside, lit a match, and set you on fire.
I used to think that being a bird watcher or a scoutmaster were professional paid occupations.
At one time I wanted to be a bird watcher or scoutmaster because they seemed to be easy jobs.
My dad was in the reserves. One time when I was [10 I asked him what he did the two weeks a year when he went to summer camp. He told me that he painted jeeps. What he failed to mention was that was one thing he did a long time ago so until I was a teenager I believed that every year when he went to "summer camp" all he did was paint jeeps.