workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
My dad was a financial investment advisor. When I was little and he would come home at night, my mom would always ask him how the stock market was that day. And he would always answer that it went up or down. Until I was about 10, i pictured a huge stadium with socks on pegs filling every wall and a ceiling that rose and fell.
When I was a kid I used to think that the critics were actually a real board of people whose job it was to find problems with everyones work. I decided that I wanted to be one when I grew up.
I used to believe that once you got out of Pre-school you instantly went to work and worked in the same profession as your father. On the day we had a little pre-school graduation thing I went up to my father and started crying telling him I was a failer and would have to be homeless because I didn't know how to be an accountant.
when i was little (like 4-5) i wanted to be a clerk in a big market because i thought that all money people give me is mine.
when i worked at papa johns as my first job, for awhile i thought you couldnt relax in the back of the store, like it was forbidden or something.
One day at school when I around 5 we learned about "strangers." When I came home I told my mom that I wanted to be a stranger when I grew up so that I could give candy to children.
I used to beleive that in preschool the teachers would get in sleeping bags in the the big room and stay there till class started the next day
i thought that being a stripper ment that i got to make clothes.
I used to believe that Fired and Hired both meant that you were out of a job. Me and a friend also thought it was an insult. We used to run up to other kids and yell, "Your fired! Your hired!"
I believed when i grew up i would be an inventor. I would invent the solar powered flashlight, and be the first to invent an oblect which alows you to breath under water by putting a fish head in your mouth.
I spent ages wondering what a bart ender was as a child without realising that it was actually bar tender.
At the dinner table each night, my father would regail us with stories from work. He often referred to his co-workers by last name. I thought it was amazing that one of the people he worked with was half man half woman. One night I mustered the courage to ask whether they were split down the middle, or at the waist. The table roared for minutes while I blushed. The co-workers name was "Sheehee".
When I was about 5 my father belonged to the Rotary Club. Each year the Rotary Club ran the Merry Go Round at the 4th of July Fair, so it made perfect sense to me that my dad was actually in the Rodeo. That he wore a suit to work every day, and didn't own or ride a horse made no difference to me. My dad was in the rodeo. I still laugh at the idea of my dad in the rodeo.
Once i asked my dad how people knew what food was edible and what wasnt. He said there are people who check if its edible. So for many years I believed there sat people out in fields eating whatever is grown to see if it was poisonous or not.
My dad is a UPS guy and he leaves in the morning to go to workand when he comes home he bring milk or ice cream. So one day my mom decided to ask my little brother who was about four what dad does when he goes to work. Mom said,"Do you know what daddy does when he goes to work?" He said," He gets milk and ice cream!" That still makes me laugh!
My dad told me when I was little that he was an accountant, that he did math and worked with numbers. Naturally, I thought he was a 'count' like the count on sesame street. I couldn't understand why he never wore a cape to work.
I went to pre-school and I believed that after my graduation I would instantly gain all the skills needed to work and make money. The day of graduation from Pre-school I ran to my teacher crying and saying that I didn't know how to be an accountant and I would be homeless.
When I was asked by my kindergarten teacher about what I want to grow to be. I said, "well I suppose any communist job is okay with me". I thought opposite of famous was communist. And I really did not want to become a famous person like a politician, scientist, attorney, etc... because they had to complete more years of school.
When I was little Dad worked all day, from eight till seven. When he was home, I didn’t leave his side. Unbeknown to him, I’d listen to his every word- Including all his swearing. One night, he was talking about his boss, Mr. Rickman. He claimed Mr. Rickman had a ‘stick up his arse.’ Dad often went on about people at work who had ‘stick’s up their arses.’ As an impressionable child, I took that literally, and I felt very sorry for all of these people.
A year later, on dad’s birthday, when I was five, Mum took me to his office to surprise him. We crept up to his office stall and Mum whipped out a present. A few of his colleagues started laughing and clapping. They crowded around the stall. I walked behind all of them and said as loudly and matter-of-factly as I could, “Dad, these people don’t have sticks up their arses.” Dad went bright red. He was about to strangle me so I ran off and hid in a bigger office. An older man greeted me and bent down to say hello and introduce himself. A crowd gathered outside the office, waiting to see the reaction. Everything was quiet and in my loud voice I said, “I feel sorry for you.” Mr. Rickman asked why and I responded, “Because that stick up your arse must hurt a lot.” Dad ended up quitting his job!
When I was little my sister told me that you could only be a waiter if you had a special bone in your wrist so you could carry extra plates!