workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
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My dad is a UPS guy and he leaves in the morning to go to workand when he comes home he bring milk or ice cream. So one day my mom decided to ask my little brother who was about four what dad does when he goes to work. Mom said,"Do you know what daddy does when he goes to work?" He said," He gets milk and ice cream!" That still makes me laugh!
My dad told me when I was little that he was an accountant, that he did math and worked with numbers. Naturally, I thought he was a 'count' like the count on sesame street. I couldn't understand why he never wore a cape to work.
I went to pre-school and I believed that after my graduation I would instantly gain all the skills needed to work and make money. The day of graduation from Pre-school I ran to my teacher crying and saying that I didn't know how to be an accountant and I would be homeless.
When I was asked by my kindergarten teacher about what I want to grow to be. I said, "well I suppose any communist job is okay with me". I thought opposite of famous was communist. And I really did not want to become a famous person like a politician, scientist, attorney, etc... because they had to complete more years of school.
When I was little Dad worked all day, from eight till seven. When he was home, I didn’t leave his side. Unbeknown to him, I’d listen to his every word- Including all his swearing. One night, he was talking about his boss, Mr. Rickman. He claimed Mr. Rickman had a ‘stick up his arse.’ Dad often went on about people at work who had ‘stick’s up their arses.’ As an impressionable child, I took that literally, and I felt very sorry for all of these people.
A year later, on dad’s birthday, when I was five, Mum took me to his office to surprise him. We crept up to his office stall and Mum whipped out a present. A few of his colleagues started laughing and clapping. They crowded around the stall. I walked behind all of them and said as loudly and matter-of-factly as I could, “Dad, these people don’t have sticks up their arses.” Dad went bright red. He was about to strangle me so I ran off and hid in a bigger office. An older man greeted me and bent down to say hello and introduce himself. A crowd gathered outside the office, waiting to see the reaction. Everything was quiet and in my loud voice I said, “I feel sorry for you.” Mr. Rickman asked why and I responded, “Because that stick up your arse must hurt a lot.” Dad ended up quitting his job!
When I was little my sister told me that you could only be a waiter if you had a special bone in your wrist so you could carry extra plates!
when i was 5, 4 of my cousins and my older sister told me about the potatoe man who delivers your potatoes to your house. but they told me he puts them in your ears and you die! to this day i have never bought potatoes from the potatoe man!
When he was around five, my little brother always used to tell everyone that he wanted to be a bulldozer driver when he grew up. This was because he had once found a quarter in the dirt near a bulldozer at a new housing development we were visiting, and he apparently got the idea that bulldozers regularly dug up money and if he had one of his own, he could find all the money buried under the ground and eventually become rich.
I used to believe that all people who had jobs were adults, with the exception of maybe the paper boy. It took me years to realize that those people working behind the counter at McDonald's are just teenagers.
i thought until recently a midwife was a middle aged lay who was married.
When I was little my dad had a funny sign in his workshop that said "Warning: BARE AREA cover your eyes". I thought it really meant BEARS were in the area and I was terrified to death to go in his workshop for fear the bears would eat me.
I used to believe that 'call girl' was another word for a female telephone operator. It used to come up in episodes of 'Columbo' that such-and such, a call girl, was murdered on....
I used to believe that "Tallest Person in the World" was a job and that it paid good money. When I was in elementary school I always tried to be the tallest and when someone beat me, I was heartbroken.
My dad used to tell us that the reason the other kids at school had nice clothes instead of hand-me-downs like us, is because we had violin lessons and they didn't. He lied. Actually doctors and lawyers just make WAY more money than pastors.
Growing up on a farm, just outseide of a small farming town, I never knew that that science could be boring until I got into highschool (grade 7 for our town's highschool). Prior to that, I actually believed that scientists were all crazy inventors and mad-scientist types, as these were the only types of scientists that were ever shown on TV and in movies. Because of that, I always wanted to be a scientist, so's I could create monsters and time machines and cool laser guns and take over the world. It was a big disappointment when I learned that that wasn't what real scientists were like. My school guidance counceler and many of my family members still don't understand why I suddenly gave up on the idea of being a scientist.
I used to think that when you got a job you could get combinations of different jobs. So in kindergarten when the teacher asked what I wanted to be, I said "An astronaut artist scientist author actress mom lawyer doctor princess (I used to think you could just be a princess if you wanted to be one) pilot vet dog-walker zoo-keeper waitress!!" And the teacher would say "... interesting.. Billy! What do you want to be when you grow up?" LOL
I used to believe that a mistress was the same as a seamstress and I couldn't figure out why all these men were so attracted to ladies that sew.
My father, who was on crutches, would always holler at us "Get the door". One day I asked my mother, "Does daddy call work and tell him he is on his way, or does he just stand outside until someone comes along and opens the door for him?" I was very surprised when she said he could open the door himself, for I had never seen him do it.
When I was in preschool, I believed that every adult grew up to be some sort of teacher. I used to criticize my own preschool teacher, saying things like, "When I'm a teacher, I'm going to do THIS differently..."
When I was young, I used to think that tollbooth collectors actually kept the money. I used to tell people that I wanted to be a tollbooth collector when I grew up!