workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When I was about 7, I loved anything and everything that had to do with art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, anything. I was convinced that I would become a famous artist when I grew up, but I didn't know what kind. Well, one day I heard the phrase 'con artist' on TV. I didn't know exactly what it meant, but I knew it was some kind of artist.
A few weeks later, my friend and I were playing with her Magic 8 Ball. I asked it if I would become a con artist when I grew up, and it said yes.
The next day in school, the teacher asked us what we were going to be when we grew up. I proudly proclaimed I was going to be a famous con artist. This caused quite a reaction, and it was then that I finally learned the true meaning of the phrase.
One childhood friend of mine was really rich and they had a maid. One day she told me that her mom had fired the maid. In my mind I imagined the mom firing a gun at the maid and killing her. I was horrified and reported it to my mom, but she just laughed at me.
When I was about 5 my mother had an evening job packing biscuits at Peek Freans factory in South London. She told me one day that the supervisor used to come round regularly to tell the workers to whistle to make sure they weren't eating any of this biscuits. I believed her and told people the story for the next 20 years or so. Then she told me she'd been joking.
I was probably about 6 when i was first told about blow jobs, but i thought it was a real job. Like a profession, and i just imagined a massive warehouse type factory thing where people got oral sex.
I thought that Siemens was a factory where they manufacture semen for the bodies.
I used to believe that "retirement" was a place where old people would have to spend time instead of going to their old jobs
Once when I was at a resturant with my family my Aunt was talking about how a friend of hers had been fired at work that day. Earlier I had watched a scene from the Jetsons where George Jetson got fired by his boss and was thrown through a hole in the wall down a metal shoot and into a dumpster. I really thought that was what happened to you when you got fired.
i used to say that i was going to move to jeopardy so i would always have a good job as it was always in the news that there were "thousands of jobs in jeopardy"
being a pilot was my ambition when i was a kid and that time i was learning letters and words. jessy aunty told me if i write the word pilot many times i would become a pilot.
When I was younger, I used to believe that most factories of the world were completely automated. I thought that maybe a couple of people looked over the machines to make sure they were working right, but that the most employees that any factory would have would be about 10. I have no idea where this belief stemmed from.
as a child I believed that trash collectors worked only on Friday, since that was the day our trash was collected. I never understood why when Friday was a holiday they took the day off, since they had to come on Saturday anyway. If you have to work only one day per week, who cares if it's Friday or Saturday?!
I used to believe that all men with mustaches were rich.
Our neighbourhood was across the street from a large university. The buildings that faced our neighbourhood contained the medical school and the teacher's college. (There were lots of other buildings, but I never saw them) Therefore, I thought that I had to be a doctor or a teacher when I grew up, because those were the only things you could learn how to be in that city. I never questioned how my father had managed to go to that same university and become a programmer...
When I was very young, I overheard my father quietly telling my mother that he was afraid he might be fired. I decided that that meant his employers would take him out the back door and shoot him dead. This really scared me for a short time until I figured out what it meant. I never did ask anyone or tell them about my fears.
When I was little my dad made me belive their was a midget in the box saying the numbers as you push them. He also led me to believe that he was especially trained to sound the same every time.
One day our teacher asked us to find out what our parents did for a living. My mother was outraged as she is from another country and thought they were just trying to find out how much money our family made. She told me to tell the teacher she was a prostitute (I didn't know what it was). I did. You should have seen the teacher's face. She called my mom to tell her I said that.
I was asked what I wanted to be when I grow up when I was about three. I replied, ''A hairdresser except I'd only comb people's hair because my parents won't let me cut hair.''
I used to think that grownups made money by being given change at restaurants and stuff. Because at drive throughs and whatever I would see them hand my dad some money with his taco.
When I was 9 or 10 I heard a word "prostitute". I asked my dad what it meant anh he told me "It's a woman, wearing nice dresses who goes dancing with all men who want it". So I tolm him: "I would like to be a prostitute". Later I became a teacher
I once asked my parents to buy me something, and they said they couldnt afford it and they showed me how much money they had (a little pocket change)
I went to bed that night and cried myself to sleep, thinking that soon we'd be poor and living in the streets becuase we had no more money. It never occured to me that my dad going to work meant we'd get more.