workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When I was around 5 I got the kind of mines that blew up and the kind that people dug in for coal ect. Mixed up. I knew that the kind that exploded were pretty small so the idea thatc anyone could get in there was hard to picture so I figured miners were vrry tiny people.I was further confused when my dad said mining was a dangerous job because of the explosions which further reinforced my misconception.I remember imagining a line of little ant like miners filing into one of those round iron mines with the lumps on the outside through a tiny door while sad music played in my head.
At 4-6 years old, whenever I heard a fire-truck siren in the distance, I would run outside with a plastic fire-hat and axe. I assumed that if the firemen saw me in uniform, they would pick me up in their truck so I could help them battle a blaze.
I thought that when you bought something you gave the person money and they gave you some money back. Always. No concept of making change. Or checks and credit cards for that matter.
When I was VERY small, I used to think that being a prostitute was the best job ever- getting paid for something as great as sex sounded....
My dad told me that when he was younger he worked for his dads construction company as a go-for (like 'hey kid, go for this or go for that) but I got confused when writing a paper in elementary school about my dad and said he had a job as a beaver.
I believed that when people were fired, they would literally be thrown in fire and engulfed in the flames. I used to tell my mom not to fire anyone while playing because I didn't want to burn anyone.
I used to think that those masks doctors wear during surgery was to prevent them from vomiting all over their patient.
When I was younger, I would look at the papers on my Dad's desk. When I saw the contributions to his IRA (Individual Retirement Account), I thought he was giving money to the Irish Republican Army.
I used to believe that teachers lived at school. Until I saw my 2nd grade teacher at the grocery store once and asked my mom why she wasn't at school. On a Saturday.
At some point, I became convinced that my aunt and uncle had the job of putting the filing in Pop-Tarts. I held this notion for an embarrassingly long time (well into elementary school), and to this day cannot figure out why I started to believe that.
I used to think that teachers weren't allowed to use the bathroom during the day and that feminine pads were just teacher diapers.
When I was younger, my sister had me convinced that Marilyn Monroe was Madonna's mother. (This was during her Dick Tracy days) I believed this for almost three years. When my sister finally told me the truth, I was DEVASTATED for quite a while.
I used to believe that at the end of the day in restaurants, the waiters would sit down for their evening meal and finish all the leftovers. So I used to make sure I left enough for the waiters on my plate!
I was about 4 years old on a boat trip round a harbour when the tour guide pointed some big old ships moored at the side of the harbour explaining that the boats were "being run with just a Skeleton Crew". I turned to my dad an exclaimed,"Eugh, imagine having to step over all those dead bodies"
I thought that since my lock on my door said Lock Smith that there was a little man named Smith who unlocked the doors for us. I would stick little bits of cheese in the door to feed him as a treat for letting us in.
I often heard my Dad talking about his "credit." I knew that having "credit" allowed him to buy things, but I only knew the definition of "credit" as defined by Saturday morning cartoons... You know, getting "credit" for stopping the bad guy, or saving people from burning buildings. I assumed that my Dad was a superhero, and that he got paid based on what kind of heroic deeds he had performed that day.
When my mom said she might be fired, I didn't recognize the term. She told me it was another way of saying laid off, and so I thought it meant that she would be so mad that she would set fire to her work building as revenge.
For the longest time, possibly even into adulthood, I thought that cart with one wheel and two handles that workers sometimes use to wheel around anything from dirt to crap to cement mix was called a wheel barrel instead of a wheelbarrow. Strange how no one corrected me during all the times I had talked about wheel barrels. Then one day I found out, I had innocently been going through the dictionary when I made a shocking discovery, I was like WTF is a barrow?!
When I was little I thought that people who worked in grocery stores spent their entire lives living inside the stores and that they didn't have families nor even knew about the outside world.
I used to believe that doctors couldn't get sick because it was their job to fight sickness. To me, it seemed as logical as police officers not committing crimes because it was their job to fight crime.
When my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I proudly proclaimed, "Doctor!" When she asked why, I said, "So I can never get sick again!"
She laughed and cleared things up for me. I was quite peeved to find out that doctors getting sick and (somewhat later) police officers committing crimes were not uncommon occurrences.