workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
I thought everyone worked in a hospital. Granted, both my parents worked in a hospital and so did many of their friends and our relatives, so it seemed to be all adults talked about, but I don't know how I thought, you know, cars got built and books got written and stuff. It didn't fit, so I disregarded it I guess.
I always believed that a radio station was the best place to work.... afterall, all those musical stars there all day, everyday, just stopping by to sing one of their songs! What job could be greater?!
when i was little, i didnt really understand the concept of job wages (like most american kiddies) and when we went to a store,i thought the clerk at the counter got all the money from whatever you bought (say you bought a shoe for 5 dollars,the clerk would get the money). then my mom said that they didnt get the cash from the things you bought,but they were payed on an hourly bases. so then i was confused. cause why were there were commercials for stores on t.v. if everyone was payed at an hourly rate?
When I was younger a new neighbor moved in next door. My mom told me one day that she was a "head hunter". I spent the next few years scared to death of this woman, afraid that every night she would sneak into my room and steal my head. It wasn't until much later that I learned "head hunters" actually found jobs for people.
One Halloween, when I was about 7, my Dad dressed up in his old Navy uniform and my Mom dressed up a "girl that dates sailors." When the neighbors came over dressed the same, they told me that they were all dressed up as sailors and hookers. So for about 4 or 5 years, I thought that hookers were just girls that liked to date sailors...
When you got fired, a document stating that you somehow work there was burned somehow, like in the fireplace.Once that document was burned, you couldn,t work there no more.
About 6 years ago, i saw a commercial for mydiscountbroker.com. It had a pretty catchy song thingy so i remembered it (and hummed it upon occasion). When discussing what i wanted to be when i grew up, i mentioned to my mom the occupation of a "discount broker". My mom looked very puzzled and tried to find out from me what it was. I said "you know, like peter, a discount broker". Peter is my family's stock broker, so my mom understood, and she burst out laughing when she realized i thought that he was a "discount broker" and laughed even harder when i told her about the commercial...
I used to think that all bosses were mean and terrible. I remember asking my mom if her boss was nice or not. Cartoons always portray bosses as really mean, so that's what I assumed.
When I wos littler I used to believe that God chose the job for you
I used to think that blow-jobs happened when you got fired from a job
When I was very young I wanted to be an astronaut. My hopes were dashed when I read some description of space travel that mentioned that a Saturn V rocket cost over a million dollars to build.
Oh no, I thought. I would never be able to afford that.
When my sister was in first grade, all the kids had to write down what they wanted to be for the yearbook....my sister wanted to be an old farmer woman
When I was four I saw a group of nuns and told my grandma...look there's a bunch of brides with raincoats on.
When I was young, I thought that *every* restaurant had professional chefs working there, making all the food from scratch. I was pretty surprised when I realized that just about anyone could be hired as a 'cook'.
I used to watch my mother sew. I didn't know about the foot pedal that made the needle move, and she told me it was magic. When I didn't believe her at first, she would wave her fingers at it and say, "Go!" and it would. I had no alternative but to believe her.
I used to think that when my mom talked about her salary, she really said celery. Whenever she got paid, I asked her if she was going to share her salad.
I once overheard my grandfather telling my mother about a few guys that he used to work with who were fired, but he used the word 'canned'. I thought canned meant killed.
My dad is a solicitor but when I was little I asked my mum what my dad's job was and she said he was a 'silly cheater'. For years I thought that's what he did for a living.. well my mum was kinda right I suppose...
I was watching a breakfast show once when I was about 6 and they mentioned the word prostitute..I asked my mum "Whats a prostitute?" and she replied "Its somebody who sells their body" To this day I remember the confusion I felt as I pictured a market stall with people laying out on stands etc selling there body i couldnt work it out ..i mean why would they do that? Wow i really dont wanna be poor when i am older...
I used to think that the phrase "Why don't you get a day job" ment actually "why don't you get a job that gives you employment during the day?"
So when my dad, who was working night-shift at the time, was grumbling about working at night,
I asked him Why don't you get a day job?
He started laughing...
I now no what that phrase means