workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When my little brother was younger he had large tonsils which caused him to choke a couple of times. Everytime he would choke we would call 911 and the paramedics and firemen would show up. Two times that this happened he choked on hot dogs. So everytime he saw a fire engine or an ambulance with their lights on he would scream out Hey somebody must have choked on a weeny. I'm glad he finally got over that one and figured out what they were really for but it took him a few years. It was hilarious.
My dad was in the army and I heard them marching and shouting as they went "Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!" I wanted to emulate him but I though you had to take three steps with your left and one giant step with your right leg. I thought being in the army would be soooo hard. It wasn't until 6th grade that I finally figured that it was just to keep timing. Hmmm.
I was never sure what I wanted to do when I grew up but my mom was always talking about a particular type of people and how they were 'taking over the country'. I thought this sounded like a really good job so decided i wanted to be a foreigner too!
My little brother, when we read about the guy who played the purple TeleTubby gettting fired. He asked what that meant and my dad said "It's when you get sacked". SO he proceeded to reply "So they put him in a bag and shot him?"
I thought that you were payed by being given bacon. That's why my parents would always say "bringing home the bacon"
When I was around 4 years old, my grandma told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. I was thrilled to discover this, and decided I was going to be an Eskimo. I didn't really understand the concept of a salary or paycheck, but I did know that jobs meant you would get money. I assumed I would get paid for building an igloo and wearing a parka, and it would be the greatest job ever.
I went with my mum and dad to see my uncle's new office. We were the only ones there as it was evening and my mum told me this certain empty desk was where my uncle's secretary worked. For some reason I thought secretary meant a sinister, shiny dark red robot. That's how I saw it in my head. I kept nagging them to leave as I was terrified it would come in.
i wondered what parent did at work it seemed to me that they partied like drinking beer and stuff like that. i really wanted to go to work after that
My sister once told me that the garbage men working for BFI, were really FBI agents because BFI is FBI mixed up. I was scared of them until I was almost 10.
When you're little, the standard question from grown-ups is always, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Since everybody kept asking me, I thought that I had until my high school graduation to decide, and then that would be my job from that day on. I could never understand why everybody didn't decide to be rich and famous.
Growing up, I watched way too much tv. (Still do.)Although my mother tried to keep track of all the content, i still watched alot of stuff which young children shouldnt watch. So, when i found out my father had a secretary, although i didn't assume he was cheating on my mom with her, i did assume that she must be this volumpous young attractive woman. (As i thought all secretaries were.)I guess this theory comes from the fact that on most sitcoms that the way the secretaries were and they were always going after the guy. I kept this belief unitl i finally went to my father's work one day and was very confused when i met his secretary: Ruth, a 60-something old lady.
When I was little, I was told about water cleaning places from some learning program, but not taught all that much... I thought that people would go and sit in an office-like room filled with water, and they would get out scrubbing brushes and scrub the water clean.
In kindergarden I had nanny who always drove me to school and babysat me at her house. I knew her husband "Jim Daddy -o-" as I always called him. Jim worked during the night and slept a lot during the day, so when my teacher in 1st grade asked if we knew about any nocternal animals I shouted out to a confused teacher " JIM DADDY -O-
I once told my whole family i wanted to be a dancer as in the movie Fast Foreward where dancers dance up and down the strip. Not having a particular title for the profession i called it strip dancing and being 8 years old i got some really weird looks.
i used to think taxi drivers were nice people who gave you a ride, told you loads of nice stories, showed you round cities and gave dad and mum money at the end of the ride
When I was young I believed that striking workers on picket lines kept warm by burning brassieres. It was only when I was 34 that I realised the reporters on newscasts must have been referring to burning 'braziers'.
I wanted to grow up and become a marine biologist, which seemed to me the perfect combination of studying nature and shooting people.
I used to think my dad worked on the moon (and was the man on the moon in all those kids songs) because when my dad went to work, my mum said he was going to the moon.
I used to think that the word mailman came from the fact that the mailman was a male. I don't really know why.
I live in a town next to a large ICI chemical plant where my grandad worked. There was often a stink floating in the air and grandad told me that the smell was coming from a furnace in which all the worker's sweaty socks were burned every day so they didn't have to wash them. I was 27 before I thought 'hang on a minute....'