workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
i used to think taxi drivers were nice people who gave you a ride, told you loads of nice stories, showed you round cities and gave dad and mum money at the end of the ride
When I was young I believed that striking workers on picket lines kept warm by burning brassieres. It was only when I was 34 that I realised the reporters on newscasts must have been referring to burning 'braziers'.
I wanted to grow up and become a marine biologist, which seemed to me the perfect combination of studying nature and shooting people.
I used to think my dad worked on the moon (and was the man on the moon in all those kids songs) because when my dad went to work, my mum said he was going to the moon.
I used to think that the word mailman came from the fact that the mailman was a male. I don't really know why.
I live in a town next to a large ICI chemical plant where my grandad worked. There was often a stink floating in the air and grandad told me that the smell was coming from a furnace in which all the worker's sweaty socks were burned every day so they didn't have to wash them. I was 27 before I thought 'hang on a minute....'
When I was about ten, I read the word "prostitute" somewhere. I thought a prostitute was a member of a religious order, something like a nun. I pictured groups of prostitutes walking around in habits and doing things for charity... in retrospect, I think I had them mixed up with Protestants... though I don't know where the nun bit came from...
I used to think that the place my Dad went every day was actually called "Work". I also thought that the Government would print money which was then delivered to work in big trucks and they kept it in a room at the back somewhere, and at the end of every week the boss (who was a fat bald man in a suit) would call my dad into his office and hand him some of the money.
When I was younger I use to want to become a cashier at a supermarket. I had just assumed that they got to keep all of the money at the check out counter.
i used to believe the graveyard shift was when you worked in a graveyard
I used to think that I should be a cop when I grew up because I was good at Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego.
I used to want to be a garbage man when I was older because I belived they only worked one day a week
Nobody would tell me what a prostitute was, but it sounded like a kind of lawyer.
You may fill in your own joke.
After watching snow white and the seven dwarves (Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it’s off to work we go…), my sister, aged 2-3, developed some strange ideas about my father, who was a teacher at the time. Each day mom dropped him off at the school and he walked in with a briefcase. In my sister’s mind, he walked in to the school and produced a screw-together pick from his briefcase and started mining. That’s what “work” was, according to Disney and according to my sister.
When I was born, my father used to work for a company called Durham China, which made china tea sets etc. As a child, adults used to talk about 'the China Factory' (i.e. the place my Dad worked.) I assumed this was a factory full of Chinese people, making Chinese lanterns, pagodas, etc. It wasn't until a few years back when my Mum died and she still had a Durham China tea set, that my memory was reawakened and it finally dawned on me just what 'the China factory' had really made.
When I was younger I thought that when someone got the sack they were put into a great big sack and the top was tied. Then there was 'custody' - getting thrown into a huge vat of custard. It took me years to work out the truth...
I used to belief that you could only become a barrister or a judge if your hair grew that way, i.e there were a priveliged few who were determined at birth!
My brother wanted a part time job on a milk round, so he decided to look it up in The complete 'works' of William Shakespeare. He now uses the yellow pages!
Before I was 6 whenever my parent's mentioned that they had to go to work I always imagined them going to some farm and chopping wood. I also imagined that they had to wait in line to do this.
I used to believe that "work" was actually the name of a job and since every adult I knew went "to work" I was convinced that all grown-ups had the same job and worked in the same building. It never dawned on me that for example teachers were working, because I didn't consider that a job. It wasn't until a teacher at our school retired (and I learned that retiring meant "to stop working") that I found out the truth. Within a week I learned that policemen, doctors etc. were also "working".