workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When I joined the Royal Navy in the early sixties I convinced my dear old mum that we anchored every night and everybody went to bed, and sheusedtobelieve that for years!.
i truely believed that a teacher's tenure (3 consecutive years at the same institution) was "ten-years"...oops!...
When I was very young (about 4 or 5) my Dad used to go to work and I would stay home with my mom since she didn't work. He would leave everyday and I would ask "where is Daddy going?", my mom would tell me "he is going to make some money"... I think until I was like 12 I used to really think he was "making money", I would picture him standing at a huge assembly line type of machine producing brand new pennies. I had no concept of work, I really thought that all the money we had was determined by how much he was able to "make" when he went out everyday.
As a young child I thought plumbers were men who sold Plumbs!
When i was small, i saw my dad leaving home everyday. I asked my mum why my dad went out everyday. She told me "Dad has to go to find money"
Then in my mind, i saw him finding money with other men in a big box full of coins
The first time we took our cat to the veterinarian, I was shocked to find out that the veterinarian was a human. I'd always pictured a big, upright-walking dog in a white lab coat...sort of like McGruff the crime dog..... if he'd gone to medical school.
I was buttering some bread at my grandmother's once, and she told me "We'll all come your restaurant when you grow up. You butter that bread so nicely". I spent several weeks worrying about my future in the catering business, as I had intended to be an astronaut (I was about 7 at the time).
my dad used to do electrician work for people at their houses. i went along with him several times, and the kids on the street used to come upto him because he wore a uniform. he used to tell them that there was a monkey inside the van. i knew there wasnt, but all the kids did.
I remember being hugely confused about what people actually did at work. I thought it was like school where you did what you were told. ("Get out your typewriters now, secretaries") I imagined my mum sitting at a desk, totally clueless, until her boss came along and told her what to do next. I didn't understand what she did when he wasn't there, and when he went on holiday I thought she sat there and did nothing.
I still don't seem to have a good grip on being proactive.
I used to think that lollymen ladies actually gave out lollypops.
I remember being disappointed, having crossed the road sucessfully and not recieved confectionery.
When I was little I sometimes saw chimneysweepers dressed in black, standing on the roofs. I used to think they were monkeys.
I used to go to work overnight on a bus (I don't know why I just did - ok) but everytime someone asked my son what Dad did he said I was a bus driver. I eventually had to create a book on what dad really did (which was managing agas plant).
When I was about 5, my father used to ride his bike to work. So my only connection with dad "going to work" was seeing him ride off on his bike in the morning. When my friends asked me what my father did for a living, I therefore told them, "he rides a bike!"
When I was young, my mom was preparing to go back to work after staying home with us for some time. Mom and dad talked a lot about "working in the field" or "getting back in the field". I thought that she would go out every day in her suit and briefcase, and talk to other business people among haystacks and corn rows.
I used to beleive that my dad had special TVset in his office to see how i behaved all day long. I sow this TVset, Now i know, it was just a monitor for old computer
That Strippers were the ladies who stripped the tablecloths off the tables in night clubs at the end of the evening.
As we drove past our local cinima my 5 year old daughter started to spell out V-I-R-G-I-N and her seven year old sister pronounced "virgin". The inevitable question came from the 5 year old
"Mummy, what is Virgin". I was lost for words but her sister replied in a very superior tone "Don't you know anything, it is someone who works for Richard Branson of course!"
I was happy to let the subject drop, but I remembered it again when the girls had their Nativity assembily. It gives a whole new slant on the Christmas story.
I believed that grown ups got paid their whole salary once a year (sometime around Christmas I think, because I'd heard of Christmas bonus'). I was really shocked to hear that they only got little bits all through the year.
I used to believe that my dad also had a summer vacation like we kids did. I remember the moment I found out my dad had to work all summer long. I've never felt so much empathy and sympathy in my life....
I used to believe that a "full-time job" was truly full time, where you worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It made me worry terribly about growing up - I didn't think I could handle a full-time job.