workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
My grandparents used to take me to the horse races. Often, my grandmother would tell me "your grandfather's horse just won!" I knew my grandfather did not own any horses so I assumed he rode them and he therefore was a jockey, which is amusing because my grandfather was a rather large man with a huge stomach.
I used to believe that "space available" signs in front of new buildings meant it was a way to get into the NASA space program and become an astronaut.
I used to think that the Army and the War were two different things you could join. My dad was in the army before I was born and I used to wonder why he chose to join the Army and not the War =o)
when I was young my dad was a fireman. My mum tells me that for years I was convinced fire engines were really called 'daddy daddy nee nors!'
I used to believe that my best friend's dad was a secret agent for the CIA. He was actually an unemployed alcoholic.
My father worked a second job at night at a company called "The Orange Storm Window Company". When I thought of my father at work, I thought that he was caught up in an "orange colored storm". I was very frightened that he had to go to that terrible place.
my sister used to think that every milkman had a cow in his back garden and would milk it every day then deliver it
once my dad told me that "if i didnt work hard, then i'd go on the dole" and for some reason i got it into my head that the dole was a big ship that came and took all the lazy people away "the good ship dole!"
My dad worked in a remote area in Alaska, and every two weeks had to go there on a plane. When we dropped him off at the airport, my sister always thought he worked at the airport, no matter how many times I told her she was wrong.
When I was young I wanted to be in the navy and so I asked my sister how I could get in the navy. She said that everyone in the nave ate cat food to stay strong. So she put some cat food in a little baggie and I ate several bags.
I used to think my Grandma was a nurse because she wore those white nurse shoes. Actually she was the cafeteria lunch lady in a middle school.
When I first asked my Dad what he did at his job, he replied "I make money." For years I imagined my father at a US Mint facility actually making money, turns out he was a salesman.
I used to think being an astronaut would be the coolest job in the world. When I was about 8 my class and I watched the space shuttle Challenger explode live on television. Scratch that astronaut job.
I used to think I was going to be a zookeeper. Then I went on a field trip and saw how nasty the Ape House was.
When I was five my friends would ask me what my dad did for work. I told them that he was a Pawn broker. "What's that", my friends would ask, I replied my dad Breaks Prawns open. So for a year or two I believed that my dad sold or broke Prawns in Half.. When in fact he loaned money
I used to believe I could be happy at work, but even when I'm are doing something I love.. I still get bored with it! :(
That at meetings adults sat on plastic chairs surrounding a large piece of meat
Those unfortunate people who worked in banks only got a holiday on bank holidays.
My Dad (who was in the airforce) told me that when his office hole punch got full of circles, that they had to be emptied into a bag and sent to a factory to be packaged as confetti to help the government pay for all the aeroplanes because they didn't have much money. I was at university years later, in the city that Dad had said the factory was in, and I asked someone if they knew where the government confetti factory was.
that when I growed up I would be a footballer but that was obviously rubbish as I can't play for toffee