workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
At some point, I became convinced that my aunt and uncle had the job of putting the filing in Pop-Tarts. I held this notion for an embarrassingly long time (well into elementary school), and to this day cannot figure out why I started to believe that.
I used to think that teachers weren't allowed to use the bathroom during the day and that feminine pads were just teacher diapers.
When I was younger, my sister had me convinced that Marilyn Monroe was Madonna's mother. (This was during her Dick Tracy days) I believed this for almost three years. When my sister finally told me the truth, I was DEVASTATED for quite a while.
I used to believe that at the end of the day in restaurants, the waiters would sit down for their evening meal and finish all the leftovers. So I used to make sure I left enough for the waiters on my plate!
I was about 4 years old on a boat trip round a harbour when the tour guide pointed some big old ships moored at the side of the harbour explaining that the boats were "being run with just a Skeleton Crew". I turned to my dad an exclaimed,"Eugh, imagine having to step over all those dead bodies"
I thought that since my lock on my door said Lock Smith that there was a little man named Smith who unlocked the doors for us. I would stick little bits of cheese in the door to feed him as a treat for letting us in.
I often heard my Dad talking about his "credit." I knew that having "credit" allowed him to buy things, but I only knew the definition of "credit" as defined by Saturday morning cartoons... You know, getting "credit" for stopping the bad guy, or saving people from burning buildings. I assumed that my Dad was a superhero, and that he got paid based on what kind of heroic deeds he had performed that day.
When my mom said she might be fired, I didn't recognize the term. She told me it was another way of saying laid off, and so I thought it meant that she would be so mad that she would set fire to her work building as revenge.
For the longest time, possibly even into adulthood, I thought that cart with one wheel and two handles that workers sometimes use to wheel around anything from dirt to crap to cement mix was called a wheel barrel instead of a wheelbarrow. Strange how no one corrected me during all the times I had talked about wheel barrels. Then one day I found out, I had innocently been going through the dictionary when I made a shocking discovery, I was like WTF is a barrow?!
When I was little I thought that people who worked in grocery stores spent their entire lives living inside the stores and that they didn't have families nor even knew about the outside world.
I used to believe that doctors couldn't get sick because it was their job to fight sickness. To me, it seemed as logical as police officers not committing crimes because it was their job to fight crime.
When my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I proudly proclaimed, "Doctor!" When she asked why, I said, "So I can never get sick again!"
She laughed and cleared things up for me. I was quite peeved to find out that doctors getting sick and (somewhat later) police officers committing crimes were not uncommon occurrences.
I used to believe that fax machines worked by sending papers down underground tunnels.
When I was little, I thought that mannaquiens were real people who's job it was to stay still all day to show off the store's clothes. So, whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would reply by saying "a mannaquien." I got some very strange looks :)
I used to admire the grown-ups very much. They apparently did not rest or sleep at all - working all day, spending all night having sex (as in the movies), always getting up earlier than me to prepare my breakfast... Wow! No wonder they kept telling me: Sleep while you may, when you're grown-up, you won't have the chance any more! So I slept diligently to catch up as much as I could and I feared growing up as it seemed to be so demanding. (Well, now, with two small kids, I know they were right! :-)
I used to believe that teachers lived at school.
When I was 6, my daycare teacher's husband was running for public office and they were both on TV, my mom brought this to my attention I said it couldn't be her because she was at school. LOL
I used to think a "con artist" was an actual type of artist, like a sculptor or something. My mom was surprised to hear that I was thinking about being a con artist when I grew up!
When i was a young, I knew someone who worked for the local sewer authority, and I used to believe that he worked in the actual sewers and I always wondered whenever I saw the man, he was never dirty. Of course since I am not a child anymore, i know that he does not crawl in the sewers
My 5-year old cousin used to believe the garbagemen were stealing their trash.
I used to believe that a prostitute was like a prosecutor.
When I was little I wanted to become a Vampire as an adult (this was way before Twilight) and thought this would be a normal "job" for adults. Since the blood-sucking was not my thing I figured out it would be the same to suck red jam out of donuts. I was really looking forward to becoming a vampire and eating donuts all the time :)