workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
I remember watching Madonna's "Lucky Star" video and telling my mother, "When I grow up, I want to marry Madonna." As in marry her as a career. Some boys wanted to be fireman and I wanted to be Mr. Ciccone, which, I guess, still could be a plausible career choice.
When i was little i my mom told me about how that if she was late too many times she would be fired. i was horrified at this statement and pictured the people at her work making my mom climb into a fireplace. needless to say, i never took too long in the morning to get ready again.
I used to believe that being a "stripper" meant that you not only took all your clothes off but that you somehow took your skin off, imagine how shocked I was when people said strippers were hot!
I thought a mathematician was something like a magician, complete with a wizard getup of a robe, white beard, and pointy hat. (The "How Much is a Million" and such books didn't help.) I thought all they did was sit around calculating pi to places so far out that the calculators and computers didn't know them yet. Needless to say, it sounded like the most boring job on earth.
My brother used to believe that there was a job that consisted in turning on and off the sun daily... He said he never wanted to work in it...
Thanks to my dad, for the first 10 years of my life I believed that C.I.D (Criminal Investigation Department) stood for "Constable In Disguise"
My step-grandfather use to work the graveyard shift at his job, and when my step-mother was in school the teacher asked everyone what their parents did, and she started crying because she thought her dad worked at a cemetery and didn't want to tell people.
When I was little I thought that the street a crossing guard worked on was named after the crossing guard because my grandmother Carmen worked on Carmen Ave.
I used to believe that if I didn't finish my dinner at a restaurant, the chef's feelings would be extremely hurt and he wouldn't allow me back at the restarant because I was mean.
When I was a little kid, I my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I proudly told them that I wanted to be a toll booth operator. When they asked me why on Earth I'd want to do that, I explained that it was because people always gave them money.
I was under the impression that they got to keep all of it.
I thought everyone in a suit was a lawyer, and that you married someone with the same jobs as you. Until around 4th grade (haha, much longer than it should have been, probably)
My parents are both attorneys, and so naturally I assumed when you get a job, you meet someone there, and thats how everyone meets to get married (which does happen, but i thought it was the ONLY place) teachers married teachers, accountants married accountants, etc.
And since my dad's friends all wore suits, and they were lawyers, of course that meant that anyone in a suit was a lawyer, haha.
At some point I had heard the saying 'you need money to make money' and I thought that it meant than in order to get a job you had to pay the business you wanted to work for first. I never thought it all the way through though, so I didn't really know where the making more money part came in.
I used to believe that since my dad always left for work right before the weather report came on the news that he was the weatherman. The only problem with this theory was that the weatherman was actually Spencer Christian who was black...my dad was not.
When I was a little girl my father worked the graveyard and swing shifts. I used to think he would either work on swings or at the graveyard. I can't remember if I thought anything when he worked "days."
When I was little i would watch parades on the TV and think that the people playing the tuba in the marching band were born with that metal instrument attached to their bodies and that the only job they could get was to march in parades. I think the reason I believed this was because I couldn't see where their bodies ended and the tuba began so i assumed that it was attached to them.
I wanted to be a cashier when I grew up because I used to believe they got to keep all the money in the cash register.
I used to believe that when mum and dad went to work to 'make money', they went to a building full of construction paper and crayons, and literally, made money!
When I was little (around 4 or 5) I assumed that when you became an adult (which I reasoned to be around age 14), you automatically got a paycheck in the mail every few days. Work was just something adults did to fill the time. I wondered who sent the paychecks out, and guessed that it was probably the president and that's why he was so important. Then I wondered why he gave some people more money than other people and how he picked who got to be rich. I figured people who were nice to him and wrote him letters got more money, so I started writing letters to Ronald Reagan (who I also thought was Ronald McDonald, just without clown make-up) asking him to give my mom more money so we could have a helicopter and a pony. I used Scooby-Doo and Hello Kitty stickers as postage, so I'm fairly sure they never made it to the White House.
When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I knew I wanted to be both an artist, and a scientist. I thought for a moment about how to combine my prospective careers and phonetically came up with arsonist. I had no idea this meant a person who sets fires. but I blurted out in class that I wished to be an arsonist. Needless to say my parents got called in to have a little talk.
I used to believe that secretary was a person who kept all the secrets in a club or organization and was an important person in that group till I finally learned about them in school.