workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
I used to think Jane Austen was related to the Bronte sisters, maybe like their cousin or step/half sister.
I used to think the postman's wife actually lived in the postbox, and if you sent something bad that she opened up and read, she would look through the slot and tell you off, so I was always too scared to go post letters on my own!
When I was about 5 years old, I always wanted to be a shop-assistant who works at the cashier because I believed that I could thake home all the money with me in the evening
When i was 4 i used to belive my dad was nocternal because he used to do a night shift!
In my parents' wedding album, they have a picture of them edited so it looks like they're in a wine glass. When I was four, my dad convinced me that they shrunk small enough to fit in the glass! From this, I determined that wedding photographers had special powers.
When I was young I used to think that a urologist was "your ologist". This created conversations such as "He's a urologist" "My ologist?" "No, a urologist" "I know, my ologist". This would go on for at least five minutes.
Somehow I got it in my head that it's actually illegal to drink during your lunch hour at work. (I'm in the U.S.) The sad thing is, this belief wasn't corrected until I was 21! A few coworkers and I were getting lunch out at a new job I had and one of them suggested we get sandwiches and beer at a local pub.
"We can't do THAT!" I whispered. "It's against the law." They explained it wasn't and I was never sure if they thought I was kidding. I wasn't!
I used to believe that being a nun was a job. I thought you went in for your hours and came home to your husband and kids just like any other job. I wanted to be a nun to wear the habit and imagined coming home to cook dinner for my family
My daughter used to believe that when someone is fired from their job, it meant it literally.
Used to believe i was going to grow up to be Prime Minister (Thatcher generation!) and make sure that Mars Bars would always cost ten pee. Never even liked Mars Bars.
Nobody would tell me what a prostitute was, but it sounded like a kind of lawyer.
You may fill in your own joke.
When I was little my dad had a funny sign in his workshop that said "Warning: BARE AREA cover your eyes". I thought it really meant BEARS were in the area and I was terrified to death to go in his workshop for fear the bears would eat me.
My dad was a financial investment advisor. When I was little and he would come home at night, my mom would always ask him how the stock market was that day. And he would always answer that it went up or down. Until I was about 10, i pictured a huge stadium with socks on pegs filling every wall and a ceiling that rose and fell.
when I was little, i thought people that worked in stores that were open 24 hours a day never got to go home and had to work forever.
I used to believe that telephone operators worked in toll booths. They connected calls when they weren't taking toll money from drivers.
At the age of 4 & 5 I remember how very proud I was of my father who worked "graveyard" at the nearby underground mine. My impression that made me so proud was that every night he went to the graveyard and watched over and kept the dead safe. I was also somewhat concerned that something bad might happen to him because of the a scarry job he had.
I used to think that when my mom talked about her salary, she really said celery. Whenever she got paid, I asked her if she was going to share her salad.
I used to watch my mother sew. I didn't know about the foot pedal that made the needle move, and she told me it was magic. When I didn't believe her at first, she would wave her fingers at it and say, "Go!" and it would. I had no alternative but to believe her.
I always believed that a radio station was the best place to work.... afterall, all those musical stars there all day, everyday, just stopping by to sing one of their songs! What job could be greater?!
When I was little, I owned a Cinderella book in which Cinderella was referred to as a "maid." I asked my mom about that, and she said that "maid" was a shortened way to say "maiden." So, the next time we went on vacation, I referred to the woman who cleaned the hotel room as a maiden.