workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When I was very young, I overheard my father quietly telling my mother that he was afraid he might be fired. I decided that that meant his employers would take him out the back door and shoot him dead. This really scared me for a short time until I figured out what it meant. I never did ask anyone or tell them about my fears.
I once asked my mom what a "bimbo" was. This was around the time of the Bill Clinton/ Monica Lewinsky scandal. Anyway, when I asked this question, my mom replied, "Oh, just some chick who works in the white house."
From then on, until junior high school, when someone referred to another person as a "bimbo", I naturally assumed that the insulted person worked in the white house.
I used to believe that since my dad always left for work right before the weather report came on the news that he was the weatherman. The only problem with this theory was that the weatherman was actually Spencer Christian who was black...my dad was not.
i used to believe that when i grew up i was going to become the wheel of a truck
I used to think my Grandma was a nurse because she wore those white nurse shoes. Actually she was the cafeteria lunch lady in a middle school.
No one ever talked about their jobs when I was growing up, they all just went to work. So I figured "work" was just a place everyone went during the day, with gray coveralls and lunchboxes. I figured the milkman and the mailman never went to work because I saw them every day. Ditto my kindergarten teacher and Huntley/Brinkley.
I used to want to be a garbage man because I used to believe that garbage men went around collecting trash and, at the end of the day, used their magic wand and turned all the trash into gold, and they lived happily ever after.
When I was little, one of my older cousins was in the military. He seemed to be going all around the world. I thought that all military personnel were allowed free flights anywhere they wanted once they finished their basic training, which consisted of being yelled at for not scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush.
When I was younger my mom would take me to day care and always complain she would be late for work, and they would fire her. I used to believe that the 'firing' consisted of her being shot by her boss!
When I was young, I used to think that tollbooth collectors actually kept the money. I used to tell people that I wanted to be a tollbooth collector when I grew up!
I used to think that when you got a job you could get combinations of different jobs. So in kindergarten when the teacher asked what I wanted to be, I said "An astronaut artist scientist author actress mom lawyer doctor princess (I used to think you could just be a princess if you wanted to be one) pilot vet dog-walker zoo-keeper waitress!!" And the teacher would say "... interesting.. Billy! What do you want to be when you grow up?" LOL
My dad is a UPS guy and he leaves in the morning to go to workand when he comes home he bring milk or ice cream. So one day my mom decided to ask my little brother who was about four what dad does when he goes to work. Mom said,"Do you know what daddy does when he goes to work?" He said," He gets milk and ice cream!" That still makes me laugh!
Once i asked my dad how people knew what food was edible and what wasnt. He said there are people who check if its edible. So for many years I believed there sat people out in fields eating whatever is grown to see if it was poisonous or not.
When I was little I used to think that there was just one mailman for the entire world and that was why our mail always came so late in the day.
When I was a child, i was told I could be anything I wanted to be when i grew up. So naturally, i wanted to be the guy who got to ride on the back of a garbage truck. They had all the fun.
when I was about 15 I thought that wet nurses changed diapers. This was cleared up when I told my mom that my kids were going to have a wet nurse.
When I was little i would watch parades on the TV and think that the people playing the tuba in the marching band were born with that metal instrument attached to their bodies and that the only job they could get was to march in parades. I think the reason I believed this was because I couldn't see where their bodies ended and the tuba began so i assumed that it was attached to them.
My mum told me that she was a brain surgeon and obviously I was adamant that she really was when asked by teachers and school friends (although in reality she was a house wife).
I used to think that the Army and the War were two different things you could join. My dad was in the army before I was born and I used to wonder why he chose to join the Army and not the War =o)
When i read in shops 'alcohol will not be served to minors', i used to think that all miners were banned from drinking.