workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When my little brother was younger he had large tonsils which caused him to choke a couple of times. Everytime he would choke we would call 911 and the paramedics and firemen would show up. Two times that this happened he choked on hot dogs. So everytime he saw a fire engine or an ambulance with their lights on he would scream out Hey somebody must have choked on a weeny. I'm glad he finally got over that one and figured out what they were really for but it took him a few years. It was hilarious.
My father used to tell me when I was little, that his co-worker needed a stopsign on his street. He used to tell me that when I grew up, he would dress me in red and make me be the stopsign. I was very upset by all of this, so the next day my father came home and told me that another litlte girl was the stopsign and that I didn't have to. I then got jealous and demanded to see the little girl who STOLE my job.
Once when I was at a resturant with my family my Aunt was talking about how a friend of hers had been fired at work that day. Earlier I had watched a scene from the Jetsons where George Jetson got fired by his boss and was thrown through a hole in the wall down a metal shoot and into a dumpster. I really thought that was what happened to you when you got fired.
When I was young I want to grow up yo be a trash man, becuse they only work one day a week.
I used to believe that boys had to go to school all their lives whereas girls could stay at home and play. I thought that was really unfair. It was a long time before I realised my father went to school because he was a schoolteacher and my mother stayed at home and played with me because she was a housewife.
Once I used to believe that a engineer is a person who drives railway engine.
I used to believe that 'call girl' was another word for a female telephone operator. It used to come up in episodes of 'Columbo' that such-and such, a call girl, was murdered on....
I used to believe that once you got out of Pre-school you instantly went to work and worked in the same profession as your father. On the day we had a little pre-school graduation thing I went up to my father and started crying telling him I was a failer and would have to be homeless because I didn't know how to be an accountant.
I used to think that being a bird watcher or a scoutmaster were professional paid occupations.
At one time I wanted to be a bird watcher or scoutmaster because they seemed to be easy jobs.
When I was little I, for some reason, thought that my mother only made five dollars on every paycheck. I was always happy on the days that she got paid, but always wondered how we could afford things with only five dollars every other week.
I used to love spelling words because I was really great at it. So I thought I could be a "speller" as a job when I grew up, just like a doctor or lawyer.
i used to think that the "graveyard shift" meant that they actually had to go out and dig graves.
When I was little I thought that people who worked in grocery stores spent their entire lives living inside the stores and that they didn't have families nor even knew about the outside world.
I used to think that if you met your parents' boss, your parents would be fired!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
My grandparents used to take me to the horse races. Often, my grandmother would tell me "your grandfather's horse just won!" I knew my grandfather did not own any horses so I assumed he rode them and he therefore was a jockey, which is amusing because my grandfather was a rather large man with a huge stomach.
My daughter thought I was a janitor at the university. It wasn't until she was an adult that she figured out I had my degree. After all, what else would a freshman do but "freshen up." The worst of it was she thought I specialized in the bathrooms because I was constantly freshening up the bathroom at home.
When I'd ask my dad what he did at work, he'd say he "made money." So for a long time, I thought he carved out Lincoln's head on the pennies and used a machine to cut up the dollar bills.
I used to believe that my dad also had a summer vacation like we kids did. I remember the moment I found out my dad had to work all summer long. I've never felt so much empathy and sympathy in my life....
When I was young, my dad kept getting better job offers from employers and that kept us moving. The new employer would always pay for the move, so I used to think that anytime someone moved to a new house, a big truck would pull up and lots of men would pack everything up and move it for you. I wish I had been right.
I spent ages wondering what a bart ender was as a child without realising that it was actually bar tender.