workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
My mom is a doctor, and I remember that one day (I was about 6) she was talking about the fact that she had to perform a prostate exam. I had heard of a job called "prostitution" so I figuered that a prostitute was just someone who did prostate exams, (so basically, it was a fancy word for a doctor.) So, on parents day, (our parents came in and talked about what they did for a living) I wanted to impress my teacher by using big words... You can see where this is going. When it was my turn, I grabbed my mothers hand, marched up in front of the class, and loudly proclaimed "This is my mother, and she is a prostitute!"
When I was about 5, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I replied with "Police dog", genuinely believing that it was possible. I'm amazed my parents didn't just put me in a box labelled "unwanted" and leave me out in the street.
I used to think those guys in red tunics at the Tower of London fed bees, because they were called Bee-Feeders. Those bees would then, of course, make the honey for the queen's morning toast.
When I was about 4, I saw a TV show that went behind the scenes of the musical CATS. I was fascinated by the actors putting on their makeup and wigs; unfortunately, it never showed them taking these things off. This caused me to believe for a few months that they were being permanently changed into creepy cat people, destined to do nothing but perform in CATS for the rest of their lives.
I used to think that minimum wage meant that you were paid one cent an hour - since that's the lowest amount of money you could possibly get to!
i used to think that the paparazzi were a group of Italian criminals or spies. i have no idea why??
When I was 14 I went through a Jane Austin phase. Around the same time I decided I was going to be a childcare worker when I finished school.
On the train one day a man asked me what I was going to do when I finished school and I told him I was going to be a wet nurse.
He was absolutely stunned for a few seconds and then said that that was a very unusual occupation these days and I looked at him as though he were mad and said 'Are you kidding? It's very common!" and then changed seats so I wouldn't have to sit next to the madman any longer.
It was a year or two later that I found out what a wet nurse does... and I will remember that poor man's expression forever.
I used to believe that if I didn't finish my dinner at a restaurant, the chef's feelings would be extremely hurt and he wouldn't allow me back at the restarant because I was mean.
My brother used to believe that there was a job that consisted in turning on and off the sun daily... He said he never wanted to work in it...
When i was little i my mom told me about how that if she was late too many times she would be fired. i was horrified at this statement and pictured the people at her work making my mom climb into a fireplace. needless to say, i never took too long in the morning to get ready again.
When I was a child I assumed that firemen started fires. I was extremely frightened when a fireman came to my kindergarten class.
i used to believe that a carreer as a super hero was possible
I used to believe that "exotic dancers" were girls who did choreographed dance routines with wild animals. I wanted to be one until I was like 11, when I found out that "exotic dancer" was a euphemism for stripper.
I used to believe that only people who's first name was "doctor" could be a doctor. I was heavily disappointed with my mother for not naming me doctor.
Up until I was about 9 I believed that my dad bent bananas for a living because that's what he told me! He actually worked in a fruit and veg warehouse and his company logo was a banana! Lol
I thought a working girl just meant any girl/woman who works and I wondered why it was considered a bad thing..
When I was young, my mom was an accountant. Every quarter she'd stay at work until very late to "look for money that went missing in the books" I had always pictured my mom running around a library shaking out the pages in actual books, so the missing money would fall out.
For the longest time, possibly even into adulthood, I thought that cart with one wheel and two handles that workers sometimes use to wheel around anything from dirt to crap to cement mix was called a wheel barrel instead of a wheelbarrow. Strange how no one corrected me during all the times I had talked about wheel barrels. Then one day I found out, I had innocently been going through the dictionary when I made a shocking discovery, I was like WTF is a barrow?!
I was about 4 years old on a boat trip round a harbour when the tour guide pointed some big old ships moored at the side of the harbour explaining that the boats were "being run with just a Skeleton Crew". I turned to my dad an exclaimed,"Eugh, imagine having to step over all those dead bodies"
I saw a lot of Geico commercials. I thought that "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance" meant that the longer you talked on the phone, the more money you would save. If you could keep them busy for 100 minutes, your insurance was free!