workShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
- Firemen start fires.
- Getting fired means being set on fire.
- You can be literally anything you want - animal, vegetable or mineral
When I was very young, I wanted to be a doctor. That was until I had to wee-wee in a cup. I didn't realize they did lab tests with the urine. I thought the doctor had to drink the wee-wee. I thought right then and there, "No way do I want to be a doctor now."
My dad was in the army and I heard them marching and shouting as they went "Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!" I wanted to emulate him but I though you had to take three steps with your left and one giant step with your right leg. I thought being in the army would be soooo hard. It wasn't until 6th grade that I finally figured that it was just to keep timing. Hmmm.
Someone once told me that a hooker was a woman who "sold her body for money." I thought that they must cut off strips of their skin and sell them in big tents like at craft fairs. I never really wondered who would want to buy that.
So my dad was Nicaraguan and he knew how to sing really well so up until I was 7 I thought he was a Spanish singer then I went to work with him one day when I was sick and found out he was a mechanic
When I was very young I wanted to be an astronaut. My hopes were dashed when I read some description of space travel that mentioned that a Saturn V rocket cost over a million dollars to build.
Oh no, I thought. I would never be able to afford that.
I used to believe that the "Employees Only" room in the back of the store was where the employees lived.
I went to pre-school and I believed that after my graduation I would instantly gain all the skills needed to work and make money. The day of graduation from Pre-school I ran to my teacher crying and saying that I didn't know how to be an accountant and I would be homeless.
I remember the first time I learned there was a place in hospital called 'casualty', I assumed it must be the 'casual' area - where all the doctors wear jeans + t-shirts + just lay around doing nothing all day.
I used to believe (until I was 12!) that when I went to the dentist, the sound that the drill made was the cavities screaming because they were being destroyed.
I used to think a "con artist" was an actual type of artist, like a sculptor or something. My mom was surprised to hear that I was thinking about being a con artist when I grew up!
I thought that an ambassador was simply someone who wore a tuxedo, top hat, and a monocle, and held a cane.
I used to believe that being a "stripper" meant that you not only took all your clothes off but that you somehow took your skin off, imagine how shocked I was when people said strippers were hot!
This is a story that my mother tells - it happened to my cousin when he was 5. Once day my cousin came down to visit his auntie and uncle (my parents). He asked my father what he did in the day. At the time he worked at an oil refinery, but decided that the process of refining hydrocarbons was too difficult for a child to understand. Instead he told him that he worked at a rabbit factory, and pointed out the window to one of the tall stacks at the refinery - telling my cousin that he stood up on a metal tower and counted the rabbits in the fields below to make sure none ran away. My cousin believed this for a further two decades, and even now (at the age of forty) he still goes bright red when its brought up!
you know how there is MD after the name of a doctor?? well i thought that it meant that all doctors where from the state of Maryland...i didn't realize it was an abbreviation for medical doctor.
When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I knew I wanted to be both an artist, and a scientist. I thought for a moment about how to combine my prospective careers and phonetically came up with arsonist. I had no idea this meant a person who sets fires. but I blurted out in class that I wished to be an arsonist. Needless to say my parents got called in to have a little talk.
I used to want to be a garbage man when I was older because I belived they only worked one day a week
I wanted to be a cashier when I grew up because I used to believe they got to keep all the money in the cash register.
My mom used to tell my brother and I that she went to mean school and graduated at the top of her class so she could work as a mean mom. I always thought I'd go to mean school too.
up until recently I thought intern was just another word for a secretary (I'm 27 btw)
My dad told me that when he was younger he worked for his dads construction company as a go-for (like 'hey kid, go for this or go for that) but I got confused when writing a paper in elementary school about my dad and said he had a job as a beaver.