kids

One Sunday when I was about 6 years old my parents and I were driving somewhere and we passed a Toys R Us. I begged them to take me there. My father simply said, "It's closed. It's against the law to buy or sell toys on Sundays." I think I was about 18 when I realized that they were lying to me.

When my sister told me that her bear could read, I wanted her bear to teach my bear how to read. We set them up together, both with a book but when I came back all the pages for her bear were turned and my bear was just stupid.

When I was about eight years old, I saw a bad episode of "The Twilight Zone" which led me to believe (for at least a year) that there were cameras hidden everywhere I went. Also, my friends and family were all paid actors. My life was being broadcast and watched by the entire world at all times. I still feel a little paranoid.
Now that they have made at least two mainstream movies on this subject, I feel even more rediculous.

I was convinced for a long time when I was about eight that I was actually a robot from the planet Saturn. I don't know why except that it had something to do with Holst's "Planets" suite, to which we liked to listen. I even convinced some of my school friends. I gave up on it after I was X-rayed and saw that there were ribs inside my body, not machinery. I tried to make up a mechanism where my manufacturers had put X-ray negatives inside so that a convincing outline would show up, but I couldn't make it work and had to admit I was human after all.

I used to seperate my toys into two groups, the F'liters and the B'liters. (Don't ask me where I gotthese names from)
The F'liters were myfavorite toys, and the B'liters the ones I didn't care for. I would line them up on opposite sides of the room, and have pretend battles, which the F'liters always won.

Imagine trying to explain this to an adult! I only tried once.

My son used to say that when he played with his "action figures," his hands disappeared.

I remember once as a child thinking there was something wrong with me because my stomach would rise when I breathed in, and fall when I breathed out. I thought it was supposed to be the other way round, and used to spend time trying to "reverse" my faulty breathing.

I've just realised why I thought this - when squeezing into a tight place or clothing, people say "breathe in!"... surely it should be "breathe out"?

I used to believe…

now don't read this unless you want to be thoroughly confused: i used to believe that, because i didn't know what other people were thinking and feeling, and they didn't know what i was thinking or feeling, it was perfectly reasonable to assume that everybody was the same person, really. i remember understanding my reasoning... wish i could now, bet it would make my life a whole lot more interesting...

Remember the care bears? My sister had a nice collection of them all with their cute little curls of hair. Until I told little trusting sis that yes, it will grow again if you cut it all off. Should have got in trouble for that one but sis started crying at dad for shouting at me.

when i was eight i had a blood test and the doctor told me i had blue blood, that i must be a royal! i also shared my birthday with the queen of england. These two points convinced me that i must have been a princess.

When I was about five, and already a bit of a science fiction fan, my uncle told me that Jews were really Martians and that our family's space ship was in a cave underneath his garage. His house was on a hill, so the explanation seemed perfectly reasonable.

He promised that once I passed my Bar Mitzvah, he could show me the ship and teach me to fly it. Sadly, he passed away when I was about seven and so I never got to see his spaceship.

Now, our family was Jewish, so my uncle was putting me on in a good natured way, he was a total kidder, and this is in no way meant to be anti-semetic.

Until I was about 9 years old, I periodically considered the possibility that I was the only real person anywhere. The world I lived in was a realistic alien-induced hallucination, and that when I walked anywhere, I actually remained stationary on a sphere (think of a treadmill that goes in all directions). At times, I would suddenly change my behavior, to throw the aliens off track.

This started long before The Matrix, or even Star Trek's holodeck came out. :\

When i was 4 up untill i was 8-9, i was convinced i was a princess. I would call all my fellow classmates my " peasants" and i would insist they let me be first at things or kiss my rings. My teachers all saved letters and pictures and stories i wrote , includeing actual assignments about what you would be when you grew up,all stateing i was a princess and would be a queen when i grew up. My mom has a huge stack of those kind of papers to show my kids when they get older :-) The really surprising thing about it is that i dont remember being so pushy and confident. Infact, i honestly can say i dont even remember believeing i was a princess so earnestly. It makes me kind of sad. Like i lost something that was a big part of myself. All i have now are page after page os outrageous claims of gradure and royalty and stories my friends remember from grade school .

I used to believe that all of my stuffed animals were alive and would move around and talk about me when I wasn't there.

when i was a kid i was convinced that when i was out of the room, my toys came alive just like in toy story. i would always open my bedroom door really quick to try to catch them. somehow, it just never worked.

I used to believe that my barbies came alive after I went to sleep. I thought they would get up and have dances and play in my room. I finally got my parent's to buy me a barbie dream house so the dolls would have somewhere cool to hang out.