kids

Once I went fishing with some guy and his daughter, I think he was a friend of my parents or something... Anyway, a fish stole my bait without getting hooked and the guy said "Oh, you got mugged".

Later after that I heard about people getting mugged and I thought that fish took their bait while fishing.

I used to think about why I blinked and what I was missing while my eyes were closed. I conceived that for the split second I wasn't able to see that everyone around me turned to mechanical Terminator type robots!

I used to believe that toys become alive during the night and walk around the house. My whole room was filled with all kinds of stuffed animals and shit so sometimes I would just lay in bed, looking at their creepy eyes, too scared to sleep, knowing that they will start moving if I keep my eyes closed for too long.

There used to be a contest on the back of the Sunday Comics every week for kids - you would color the pic and send it in...they advertised the prizes, i.e. 50 barbie dolls, 30 tops, 25 toy cars, etc.

And I always was amazed and in awe that if I won I would win that many prizes and why did they send one person so many of the same thing! Unfortunately I never did win but it was many years before I figured that the numbers were the TOTAL of the various prizes they awarded! DUH!

There used to be a contest on the back of the Sunday Comics every week for kids - you would color the pic and send it in...they advertised the prizes, i.e. 50 barbie dolls, 30 tops, 25 toy cars, etc.

And I always was amazed and in awe that if I won I would win that many prizes and why did they send one person so many of the same thing! Unfortunately I never did win but it was many years before I figured that the numbers were the TOTAL of the various prizes they awarded! DUH!

When i was little, I always watched television with my dolls. I used to believe that the dolls can speak to my favorite cartoon. So, before i turned on my television, i cried in front of my dolls, i hoped ,my dolls could flatter my favorite cartoon to came to my house.

I learned about Mardi Gras in French class when I was like nine or ten...a big age for taking everything too literally for me. When I learned what the classic bead colors meant (purple=justice, green=faith, and gold=power), I thought that if you got beads of that color, that was the trait you inherited from the beads by some magical thing. Because of this I would always go on a wild goose chase every school Mardi Gras celebration for gold beads, but purple worked just fine too...if I couldn't have power I might as well have justice, but I could care less about faith, so everyone could keep their green beads. In fourth grade my French teacher gave out purple Mardi Gras beads..she had a gold, but it was her only gold so she couldn't give it out. I got REALLY upset, but I decided to be satisfied with justice. I ordered a big bag of Mardi Gras beads of every color off Oriental Trading soon after that, so I was finally happy 'cause I had all three now.

Now I'm sixteen and I still believe in the colors and their traits and that the bead color determines your own traits, still through some magical thing, and I got gold beads in school today and I like held on to them like a lifeline for that "power" trait for the whole day, but I'm not as obsessive over it as I was when I was ten, as I was willing to give the elusive power beads to a friend who didn't get any beads at the end of the day.

The end. Happy Mardi Gras, I Used To Believe!

U used to believe that everyone in the world was secretly actually far more advanced scientifically than the world seemed and that they were lying to me and tricking me, so that I could pass some sort of test. Once I passed this 'test', or whatever it was, I could go up and join them with their magic and their wonderful technologies.

I was 8 when rational thought finally beat this illogical silliness, but I still get little thoughts like that on the paranoid side like that.

I'll just keep telling myself that I don't need a psychologist and maybe one day I'll even believe it...

You know the department store Meijer? Well if you are familiar with it, you know they have a gray and white tile floor that alternates like a checker board. Well, I used to believe that I could only walk in the white tiles. I was convinced that the gray tiles were vats of gray paint and I would fall in.

I used to think I was super special because when driving down the road at night, I would squinch my eyes together in order to make the street lights twinkle. I thought this was some secret between them and me.

I used to believe every single one of my toys was a living breathing person. Made of solid freaking plastic :) I found out I was wrong when I tried to talk to one....and it just sat..there..staring through my soul like a deer in the headlights.

I used to believe I had radar for finding public restrooms in places I had never been before. My grandmother used to tell me I had radar built in me to find restrooms and called me "Miss Toilet" after I went to a restroom toilet that was out of order and fixed it so it could work again...funny thing I do that for a living now where I work..

Growing up I distinctly remember a new report on ABC about Cabbage Patch Kid dolls. The report showed them them on the assembly line and the reporter was talking about them having a name and birth certificate. I was mortified after that report because I thought that they made the Cabbage Patch kids from real babies and couldn't figure out how they turned them into plastic or why someone would kill a baby to make a doll.

When I was in elementary school, I believed I was the queen of a world I went to all the time in my dreams called Crazy Land. I would get married all the time to different things (although my one true love was a giant frog) and the currency was super-pink bubble gum. Me and my friend (who is real) lived there too and we used to speak in Crazyish even though we couldn't understand each other.

When I got older, I decided it was time to leave Crazy Land, so I mentally put a super-pink eraser in my head to erase all my memories. I miss it there.

When I was little, my older sister told me all sorts of things that I believed without question. Among these was that I wasn't really her sister, but a princess named Janelle, and I was kidnapped by my parents, who changed my name to hide me from Child Services.

I once left my toy Woody in my room and hid behind the door when I was 6, and waited 20 minutes for him to come alive. When he didn't, I cried